Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be writing a blog.

Hello, fellow babies. I am going to put my bottle of Vicodin down long enough for this one post. Amazon is running a scented-glossy-magazine subscription special that might be worth your while. Right now you can get:

One year of Sunset (12 issues) for $11.

Two years of House Beautiful (yep, 24 issues) for $10.

One year of Country Living (12 issues) for 5 whole dollars. [Yeah, I know: Country Living? But they have a new editor, and they have been bringing it lately.]

One year of Penthouse Letters (1-year) for less than $20. Hey, D, do they send you a free copy when your letter is published?

Hell, there are a bunch of them at end-of-times-for-print-media prices. And the deals are valid for renewals as well as new purchases.

I ordered about 10 of these for myself as a get well present. It's true, babies: I finally got those butt implants. Coming soon to a rap video near you.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reading/ Watching/ Listening

 Reading: The Rules of Civility by Amor Towles. I didn't like it nearly as much as A Gentleman in Moscow . In fact, I liked it only barely enough to keep reading. Watching: Poker Face , on Peacock. Papi and I have enjoyed watching this, one episode at a time, and not every day. It's a little formulaic, but the sets and the guest stars are fun. I like that it changes scenery every episode. Listening to: The Beatles Channel, Sirius XM. Ever since watching Get Back , the Beatles documentary, I've enjoyed listening to them with new ears.
Read more

Be Awesome for Halloween

Image
You are a total hoser if you don’t dress up for Halloween. Granted, I haven’t dressed up in a few years, but I am about to change that this year. I have an idea … but it’s a surprise! Actually, I have lots of Halloween ideas. I’ve put together a few sample ideas for some of my favorite bloggers. If you find yourself in need of inspiration, send me a link to your blog, or just describe what you’re doing on Halloween night, and I’ll give you a hand. Emily and Rob : Alice and Ralph Kramden ! Soletrain : ODB . Wouldn’t you pay money to see Uncle John wearing a grill? Anyway, I’m sure he already has the outfit. He just needs to accessorize with a 40. Bunny Tomerlin : Goth princess . Because I bet she’s never even worn PVC. (Polyvore set via Haley ) Grosgrain Garage : preppy Jesus – Bonnanos, tunic with gingham trim and a ribbon belt, pearls worn as a thorny crown Megan: Now that she's succumbed to making wreaths , Mega
Read more

The Bikini Wax: An Internal Dialogue

God, this is horrifying. I wonder if she's as embarrassed as I am. OW! Ow MOTHERFUCKER! Okay, this hurts less than childbirth, but only because it doesn't last as long. What is she saying? I wish I spoke Vietnamese. I think I outweigh the entire staff combined. Dude, where is she going? They need a picture on this ceiling. They would probably put up a picture of Hannah Montana. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. Hey, I bet my nails are dry. I wonder if the liquor store next door sells ice. Next time I'm paying more for a place with numbing cream. Which is worse -- being her or being me? OW. Me. At times like this it's good to have some poetry memorized. 'Twas brillig and the ... the ... Dammit. HOW BIG IS MY VAGINA? She could have mowed the back 40 by now. God, how come nobody told me this shit was growing halfway down my leg? Did I water the clematis last night? Next time: vodka first. Next time: Vicodin first.
Read more