If You're a Good American Don't Read This

I'm shamelessly copying this from my friend Terri at A Girl in the South. SOPA is bad, m'kay? However, I'm not going on strike, because ... who suffers from that besides me? It seems to me that we would only be striking against ourselves, which is kinda nuts. Also, I don't know if I can get through a day without the Internet.

Because Censorship Is Never Okay

No recipes for Wednesday.

In solidarity and protest against SOPA and PIPA, A Girl in the South is joining the big wigs of the internets like Reddit, Wikipedia, Boing Boing and hundreds (if not thousands) of other sites and blogs by going on strike tomorrow, January 18th from 8:00 am to 8:00 pm.

SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) could have a devastating effect on numerous websites, even little ones like ourselves. We are taking a stand against Censorship and urging everyone to educate themselves on this bill and contact your representatives if you agree that SOPA is a really bad fucking idea.

Why is it so bad? (Excerpt taken from here)

The broad definitions in the bill create tremendous uncertainty for nearly every site online. This sounds like hyperbole, but it is not. Defenders of the bill like to claim that it is “narrowly focused” on foreign rogue infringing sites. Nothing could be further from the truth. While PIPA targets only foreign sites, the mechanism by which it does so is to put tremendous compliance and liability on third party service providers in the US. SOPA goes even further in expanding the private right of action to domestic sites as well. We’ve already seen how such laws can be abused by looking at how frequently false takedown claims are made under the existing DMCA. Of course, under the DMCA, just the content is blocked. Under SOPA all money to a site can be cut off. Under PIPA sites will just end up in court. Or, with both laws, an Attorney General can take action leading US companies to have to effectively act as network nannies trying to keep infringement from being accessible. None of this is good for anyone building a startup company these days. The massive uncertainty around this, combined with the need for a huge legal department sitting in “the garage” as a startup begins, will certainly slow down the pace of innovation in the US, while likely driving it elsewhere.

While it’s true that our President has said he will not allow the SOPA bill to pass (but PIPA is still alive and kicking), it’s important that our government realize that we will not tolerate their efforts to take away our freedom of speech. Copyright infringement is a shitty thing, without a doubt, but these two bills are the absolutely dead wrong way to handle this.

List of sites joining the strike - here 
Joining in the blackout? Register here We encourage anyone who wishes to participate to join in the blackout.
Find more information about SOPA here, here and here. Oh, and even though this is Cracked.com and not meant to be taken seriously, here is a very funny and alarmingly true possibility with PIPA/SOPA.

My Own Best-of 2011

And now, a personal list:

Favorite New Book: Bossypants
Favorite New-to-Me Book: the Canal House Cooking series
Biggest Disappointment: Cooking 1-2-3 by Rozanne Gold

Favorite Current Show: Community
Favorite New-to-me Show: Party Down
Biggest Disappointment: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  It was never highbrow, but it's gotten so disgusting I can't even watch it anymore. Runner-up: The Norm McDonald Show.

Favorite New Movie:  I Am Love, though admittedly it's mostly for the sets and the clothes.
Biggest Disappointment: TIE! Bridesmaids--I probably shouldn't have built it up so much in my mind beforehand. The scene in the wedding dress shop was unwatchable, and the rest was pretty uneven. Midnight in Paris--Straight out of the disappointing Woody Allen cannon of misogyny and white people problems. You have to keep reminding yourself of the good times...

Favorite New Documentary: Bill Cunningham New York. [Was this the only new documentary I saw? I mean, it was fine, but not really thrilling.]

Favorite New-to-Me Documentary: Exit Through the Gift Shop
Biggest Disappointment: Art 21. Big snoozer.

Favorite New-to-Me Record: Jeff Weiss' Passion of the Weiss: Candy Cane Children mix of White Stripes B-sides, live performances and other "rarities."

Favorite New-to-Me Drink: Torrontes wine (from Argentina)
Favorite New-to-Me Food: The Fine Cheese Co.'s Charcoal Crackers


Favorite New-to-Me Beauty Thing: Maybelline Define-a-Brow pencil in Dark Blonde.
Biggest Disappointment: Avene Retrinal .05 joined a long line of products that have failed to change my life.

Favorite New-to-Me Shoes: I tried Birkenstocks this year and haven't looked back.

Favorite Like-New Magazine: Martha Stewart Living with Pilar Guzman as editor.

Favorite New Website: Pinterest
Favorite New-to-Me Website: The Last Psychiatrist. I don't always agree with him, but his posts on mental hygiene, in particular, are absolutely fascinating.
Biggest Disappointment: Google+. A huge waste of time that broke up my sharefam on Google Reader. G+ will be dead within a year, but things will never go back to the way they were; an object lesson in leaving well enough alone.

Favorite New-to-Me Parenting Thing, Part I: Listening to Disney Radio. I am alarmed and ashamed at how much I enjoy this. The music is garbage, but I love watching the kids get excited about it, and watching them dance.
Favorite New-to-Me Parenting Thing, Part II: Ms. Twixt: Positive Experiences for Tween Girls has me actually looking forward to the next few years instead of dreading them
Biggest Disappointment: Family Therapy. Not moving the ball forward.


Favorite New Kid Movie: The Muppets, obvs. If I asked my kids they might vote for Chipwrecked (which I, mercifully, did not see); then I would have to disown them.
Favorite New-to-Us Kid Thing: The Muppet Christmas Carol-- I guess I watched it 100 years ago, but I was surprised at how good it was when we watched it last month (six or eight times).
Biggest Disappointment: I'm putting The Secret of the Kells here because while I loved it, it scared the shit out of Emmet; he barely watched any of it and he still had nightmares about it.

On Not Letting Go Too Soon

I think the entire month of January should be given over to end-of-year lists from December. I never have time to enjoy all of those during Christmas. [Also, in case I haven't mentioned it lately, it's a PET PEEVE that people take down Christmas on New Year's Day, or worse, December 26. The last day of Christmas is Epiphany, which is today. So what I'm saying is, slow down people. You're missing some of the good stuff.]

Some I've been enjoying:

Washington Post's In/Out List for 2012--Couldn't care less about Ryan Gosling, but white whiskey came up three times in one week of conversations; also I love Elizabeth Warren, but I'll need a place to hide through the wide-leg pants resurgence. And holy hell am I glad to know about Gary Clark, Jr.

The AV Club's Best Non-2011 Pop Culture We Discovered This Year--But have I ever mentioned that another PET PEEVE is the phrase pop culture? I absolutely loathe those words together.

Read It Later's 'Most-Read' Authors List

Roger Ebert's Best Films of 2011-- I usually agree with Roger Ebert, but the only film on the list that I saw (Midnight in Paris) was a piece of shit.

Roger Ebert's Best Documentaries of 2012-- I've only seen one of these, but I think he's on a much better track here.


Time magazine's 50 Best Websites of 2011--Click bait of the lowest sort, but I was glad I looked through it because there were a few I hadn't heard of, and Lord knows I hate being scooped by f'ing Time.

Hey, Baby, Que Paso?

Holy shit, time goes by fast. I do owe you a follow-up: for the starter smackdown/ cookie contest, I made sausage balls and the Tartine gingerbread cookies. I really hesitated on the cookies, because I hatehatehatehate rolling out dough, but I was pretty happy with the way they turned out, so I guess you can say it was worth it. The cookies took third place, in spite of my FORMER BFF's not voting for me because she doesn't like "those old-fashioned, cake-like cookies." You are dead to me LVC. See if you get any maxi-pad crafted Christmas gift from me this year.

Another awesome party we went to was the East End Christmas Toy Drive and Freddy Fender Tribute Concert. Los Skarnales and Umbrella Man played, and they were fucking fantastic. I'm still amazed that Umbrella Man hasn't broken out more--I expect they will be any day. [They're supposed to have a new album almost ready.] You can check them out on YouTube; my favorite live performance is "Cumbia del Sol."

The party also featured a side-show by the Latin Fantasy Lowrider Club. My favorite car had these murals of absurdly voluptuous Aztec goddesses. You think I'd be used to it, but it's still so embarrassing to see my image airbrushed on cars.

 

party poster via Orange Show

car photo via Dipity

Holidays on the TeeVee

Here is an amazing guide that not only includes movies, but also Christmas episodes of shows in re-runs. In case you missed Coach, "My True Love Gave to Me," back when it first aired.


I will be setting the DVR for:

Scrooged, Wednesday 11/30 at 9 pm (CST) on AMC.
Santa Buddies, Thursday 12/1 at 7 pm on Disney Channel.
Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Friday 12/2 at 7 pm on ABC Family.
Home Alone, Saturday 12/3 at 5:10 pm on Encore.
Crazy Christmas Lights (special), Saturday 12/3 at 6 pm on TLC.
The Nightmare Before Christmas, Saturday 12/3 at 11 pm on ABC Family.
A Charlie Brown Christmas, Monday 12/5 at 7 pm on ABC.
Disney's Prep and Landing 2, Monday 12/5 at 7:30 pm on ABC.
The Pink Panther in: A Pink Christmas, Wednesday 12/7 at 5 pm on ABC Family.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Wednesday 12/7 at 8 pm on ABC Family.
The Muppet Christmas Carol, Friday 12/09 at 12 noon on Discovery Kids (HUB).
Frosty the Snowman, Friday 12/09 at 7 pm on CBS.
Elf, Saturday 12/10 at 12:00 noon on USA.

In It to Win It

So I'm invited to this cookie swap/contest again this year, and this year it also includes a "starter smackdown." So I have TWO CHANCES to win this thing. Come on people; help me out. Your best cookie recipe and your best appetizer recipe. Or even just tell me what you would most want to see in the competition.

What mamacita is...

Thanksgiving edition

Reading

I have to agree with my friend Mike that this isn't my favorite of Sarah Vowell's books, but it's still a good read.

Watching

Listening to

And now back to bed with that bottle of Nyquil.

How Married People Fight

"Don't fuck with me, son, I'll make you watch Wendy Williams."

Ren Fest Best Practices

Papi had to hurry and finish his turkey leg before the Birds of Prey show started.

Man, I love the Texas Renaissance Festival. We go every year with the kids. In the interest of public service, here's my list of Best Practices for the festival.

 

[1:21 video from School of Sword]

Buying a ticket:

• This year there was a pretty good offer at Urban Dealight (sic)--something to keep in mind for next year.
• If you try to buy on Craigslist, you won't get much of a discount, and it's usually people selling free passes they got in a pack. I used those one year, and they worked, but they made me awfully nervous. 
• If you've missed getting another deal, try to buy the tickets from one of the retail outlets (HEB, Woodforest Bank) or buy them from the website (where there is a "convenience charge." GRRR.) They are more expensive at the gate.
• This past weekend set attendance records--something like 42,000 on Saturday and 27,000 on Sunday. The lesson here is go on Sunday.

Click to enlarge.

The Night Before:

• Print out your tickets (if you bought them online) as well as directions to the festival.
• Check out the acts listed on the website and get an idea of what you might want to see. Most shows repeat every 1-2 hours, but it's good to know the times in advance.
• We would never miss the Joust, the School of Sword, the Family Jewels (an ersatz gem mine) or the Falconer's show. There are also mud wrestlers, belly dancers, jugglers, musicians and just all kinds of other acts on EIGHTEEN stages. A few acts are PG-13, but these are clearly marked in the program, online and in person.
• Also check out the map online and maybe even draw a rough sketch of it, noting the places you definitely want to see. [That's mine above.] You can get a real map at the festival, but this will help you get started.
• Charge your cell phone.
• Pack a tailgate! I'm always surprised that more people don't do this. I packed salami, cheese and crackers and some bottles of water in an insulated bag. You could go all out and bring wine, beer, etc.
• We even brought an electric kettle (the car has an outlet) and packets of hot chocolate to drink at the end of the day, but it was way too warm for that. Don't forget the lawn chairs, napkins, cups knives, cutting board, etc.
• Get some cash. Some places take plastic, but many of the food and drink vendors don't. His Majesty's ATMs levy a hefty charge. [Prices are pretty typical for a festival--bottles of coke for $2.50, etc.]

King Henry VIII giving Becca & our buddy Toby a chopping tutorial.

The Day of the Festival:

• Wear light layers and your most comfortable walking shoes. There is period-appropriate mud all over the place, so be warned.
• Leave reasonably early. Traffic gets bad within 10-15 miles of the festival. It took us about an hour and a half to get there from Oak Forest.
• I always carry a small backpack to carry the crap the kids get, as well as Aleve and Icy Hot patches (because I'm 100 years old).
• When you get inside you can buy a program with a map inside. [It will be mostly the same year-to-year, so you could hold on to it and reuse it.]
• If you're traveling in a group, set meet-up times. I was there with a couple of teenagers, and we had them meet us at the performances we had planned to see, but walk around independently between those times.
• You're supposed to tip the performers at the "free" shows. Make sure you keep some small bills on hand. You should also tip any of the people in elaborate costumes who stop to take photos with you. [Try to be subtle about it, though--it kinda takes everyone out of the moment to see Robin Hood taking a fiver.]
• Take photos. The light is usually good, and everyone is having a good time.

Emmet showing off his sword skills to the King and Queen

I dare you to go into Neiman's and pay with folded-up singles.

I was going to say this must be a sign of the economic times, but it may in fact be a sign of the apocalypse.

Let's Get Excited for November

October went out with a bang: two kids with gastrointestinal distress for Halloween. Onward and upward:

Movember--I love it when people come together to do stupid shit like that
Renaissance Festival
Nonnie's birthday
My mom's birthday
Thanksgiving--hellz yeah, it's pie time, y'all. Nonnie and I will be cooking again. I've already been planning it for a month.

Photo via Surviving Oz

What mamacita is...

Listening to

Happy Halloween, y'all. Our party is tonight. I hope to have pics later this weekend.

Rocking the Richie Tennenbaum Today

I Get Email

from Daddy:

Well, I went and bought some Rye and Sweet Vermouth in anticipation of creating the perfect Manhattan.   Results: Let's say I'm not a big fan of rye, but I can see acquiring the taste for it.  However, that vermouth crap is just NASTY!  Who can drink that shit and say they like the taste?  I had to catch the cat and lick his ass just to get that vermouth taste out of my mouth.  YUCK!  Pass the raw oysters and broccoli please.

What mamacita is...

Reading

This is a fine book. I like the chatty introductory bits before each recipe. The recipe for Figgy Piggy Drumsticks looks good, and it's hard to find fault with a chapter called "Things With Cheese." Really, though, I find that my cooking really always comes back to two places:

1. Ina Garten, The Barefoot Contessa, for those times when I'm having my fabulous Hamptons friends over in their matching pastel cashmere sweaters, and

2. Pam Anderson's How to Cook Without a Book, for those times I have to face the people who show up to my table every day and be told that according to Momma's Ridiculous Rules of Etiquette, one is required to wear a shirt to dinner.

Watching

If you ever get one of those free Redbox codes, use it on this. Just don't keep the movie for four days, because regret will set in.

Listening to

It's sometimes hard to listen to tribute albums, because you can't help but compare the remake to the original, all the while thinking "that's not how it goes!" But this record turned out better than I thought. I don't mean to go all Pitchfork on you, but I think that Buddy Holly's songs were so elemental--just bare sketches of songs, ready for any embellishment--that lots of other people can actually do them well, too. There are a few irritating songs on the record (Paul McCartney--WTF was that about, sir?) but there are also some great ones (The Black Keys and, surprisingly enough, Fiona Apple).

You can stream the record here.

Work Woes

1. THIS ^.

2a. My desk is essentially in the office lunchroom. That means I get to smell everything that everyone in the office eats. Most people are considerate of this, but one person is not. Last week for lunch she had garlic-dipped garlic sticks in garlic sauce. I had to leave the building.

2b. People keep leaving shit to rot in the refrigerator that sits 2 feet from my elbow.

2c. There are also numerous discussions of the condiment that dare not speak its name.

3. Sometimes the effort to avoid f-bombs is so great, I think I might sprain something.

I know I shouldn't bitch, because I'm lucky to have a job. BUT BITCH I WILL.

On the plus side:

1. I get adorable art projects from preschoolers all the time.

2. I get to see my friend Cayce all the time.

3. Old ladies bring us brownies all the time.

The Coolest Thing This Weekend

I was walking into Spec's (world's greatest liquor store) on Saturday afternoon and there was a band playing outside on the patio. I stopped and listened for a while...and they were fantastic. There is nothing quite like live music, is there? Even though jazz isn't my thing, I loved them.

But it seemed like an odd place for a gig; there were 16 musicians, plus a director--most were horns, plus a percussionist, a standing bass, and an electric guitar. It must have taken a while to set up. The only clue I had about who they were and what they were doing at Spec's was the name on the speakers: Conrad Johnson.

WELL. It turns out that Conrad Johnson was the band director at Kashmere High School for many years. His band (of teenagers!) played original music he wrote; they had a recording contract and were sought-after all over town for parties. The Conrad Johnson Orchestra is a group of his former students who play semi-professionally now.

 
Their appearance at Spec's coincides with last Friday's release of Thunder Soul, a movie about Conrad Johnson produced by Jamie Foxx that won a bunch of festival awards this year. On Monday, a Kashmere Stage Band anthology was released on CD. [iTunes.] I cannot even tell you how awesome this record is, and how happy it will make you.

P.S. If you book the Conrad Johnson orchestra to play your party, it would be the best party EVER, and I would absolutely crash it.

Snack of the Week

Suddenly everyone in the house has gone crazy for Chessmen cookies and Lady Grey tea. Awfully civilized for this bunch of cretins.

Advice Needed

Have any of you ever made salt cod--as in, cod baked in a salt dome? I have a ton of egg whites leftover from making ice cream*, and cod is on sale, so it seemed like a possibility. I was wondering how difficult it is; if it results in black smoke coming from the oven; and, most importantly, is it worth it?

*So you wanna hear about that ice cream? 'Twas Pumpkin ice cream, and I thought it was delicious with gingersnaps.

Score!

I was the first one in line this morning. Most of it is going up on eBay, but holla at your girl if there is something you desperately want.

LOL

via Flubmaster Grand Flubby

Lock up your credit cards...

Zara opened up their online shopping in the US today. [I wrote this down in my calendar weeks ago.]

In the cart:

Hello Kitty underpants (um, not for me, obvs.)

a shiny puffer for the boy (Patago-who?)

Emmet would hate this, but I'm dying over the silkscreened pocket protector.

ponyskin flats

Can anyone speak to the quality/ sizing of Zara shoes? I've never bought them before.

A metallic clutch seems like a useful thing to have.

This bag was in the September Martha. It looks gorgeous.

And this chocolate suede number with convertible handles is pretty sweet, too.

Yeah, that cart needs some editing...

Birthdays are awesome

 Brownie cupcakes with brown sugar frosting, by Letitia. Homely and delicious.

 Tulips from the Papi and the babes.

Poster by my fan club. What, you don't have a fan club?

Thanks e'rbody for a lovely day.

Textbook

I think I achieved Nirvana when I found Textbook, the fashion blog that dresses literary and historical celebrities.

Ever wonder what Anne Boleyn would wear?

Or Viola from Twelfth Night? Or Eleanor of Aquitane?

BTW, I've been slacking recently on the ol' blog, but I've been busy on Pinterest. Follow me there, if you like.

Neko Case

I guess this must have come out 189 years ago or something, but it's new to me.

The Boob Tube

First of all: here's an awesome Metafilter thread about pre-teen group adventure movies (think The Goonies, Space Camp, Spy Kids, etc.). Bookmark it.

Next: Commercial Kings--boy did I love the idea behind this show. Local commercials can be pretty awesome. [I am privileged to live in the same town as Hilton Furniture -- and that's a F.A.C.T., Jack!] But these two assclowns are so condescending to their clients, and so bereft of cinematic skills (or so willing to ignore them) that they pretty much ruin the show.

Just look at them -- did someone give them a hipster checklist? "Hoodie: check. Fauxhawk: check. Nerd glasses: check." Anyway, sometimes the commercials turn out well, and those are available on YouTube.

Far better: Watch the shorts made by Kenny Powers, new MFCEO of K-Swiss. You will be glad you did.

Double-Check Their Credentials

Emmet went to the dentist and cousin Cole tagged along. They charmed the nurses out of face masks and latex gloves, then they got fake mustaches from the prize box. Cole's plan was to go around telling people that they were midget dentists.

[This was a welcome change of pace; on the way to the office, there was a 20-minute discussion about doo-doo.]

The Black Belles

Did you see them on The Colbert Report last week? While I was watching them I kept thinking about Emmeline Grangerford from Huck Finn -- the one who wrote poetry, kept a scrapbook of obituaries and painted "And I Shall Never Hear Thy Sweet Chirrup Again Alas." I forgot how much I loved that book.

Don't you think Jack White should dye his hair white as he gets older and start dressing like Mark Twain?

Anyway, The Black Belles: thumbs up, I guess. For a Halloween party.

Happy Birthday to the Greatest Babe of All

Babe Didrikson Zaharias would be 100 years old today. She was the greatest American athlete of the early 20th century. She was a basketball champ; she held world records and Olympic medals in track and field; she was even a competitive billiards player and bowler. At the age of 24 she took up golf, then she founded and dominated the LPGA. She's still the only woman to ever make the cut in a regular PGA tournament.

Babe Zaharias was from Beaumont. She was my hero when I was a kid. A couple of weeks ago Becca picked up an old biography about the Babe and started reading it. It's really a shame the Babe isn't better known today -- but you can fix that. Earlier this month a new biography about her came out that you should read. Happy birthday, Babe!

Wimbledon Fashion Show

Did you see Venus Williams' jumper at Wimbledon today? The bar is set HIGH, ladies.

Photos via Getty

Your Kids Will Never Be "Bored" Again

Sarah's Fab Day: It's summer and I'm not so ship shape

Papi came up with a brilliant solution to cries of "I'm so bored."

E&B started acting squirrelly and trying to change the channel when ads came on for Sylvan Learning Centers or Kumon or whatever. Papi asked why, and they said it's because they didn't want us to get any ideas about sending them there. So now when they say "I'm bored," we say, "well, we could always call Sylvan..."