Sunday, February 27, 2011

Have Some Fun on Oscar Night

Let's be honest: the Academy Awards show is wicked boring. Here are some suggestions for the evening:

I will be watching the red carpet arrivals, of course -- fingers crossed for a lot of Tom Ford gowns. This will be enhanced by the liveblogging of the Fug Girls starting at 5 Eastern time.

The "Academy" should have tapped Ricky Gervais to host the show. He even wrote an intro for it on spec!

Since they didn't, you should watch The Ricky Gervais Show instead. It's on HBO on Demand right now. The whole show is Ricky Gervais and his partner-in-crime Stephen Merchant talking to their radio producer, Karl Pilkington. Karl is a British everyman, almost like Charlie Brown all grown up, and he is unintentionally hilarious (or he is possibly the greatest deadpan act ever -- honestly it doesn't matter).  If you don't get HBO, you could buy the podcast that the show was based on at

And for further reading in making fun of famous people, the entire run of Spy magazine is now available via Google Books.

I'll be at home tonight in my feather headdress and sequins. Stop by if you're in the neighborhood!

[I am not getting compensated for any of this BTW.]

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Queen of the Internet

Before today I'd never heard of Dawn Meehan or her blog, Because I Said So. But I found her via some links today, and she's very funny. Best of all is the hilarious eBay post that started her writing career -- I am still wiping tears from my eyes.

By the way, I didn't realize that I had passed 1,000 posts on this here blog. The 1,000th was "I Fucking Hate Facebook." So suck on that, doctor friends; have you written 1,000 blog posts read by maybe 5 people total? NO YOU HAVE NOT.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Happy Birthday Edward Gorey!

Check out this amazing decoupage Edward Gorey recipe box, of which I am now insanely jealous. More at Diana's blog.

Jezebel called Gorey's The Recently Deflowered Girl "the most inappropriate graduation gift since the Sex and the City box set." SOLD.


Friday, February 18, 2011

White Limo

I'd be lying if I said I knew who Lemmy was 6 months ago. But he's everywhere all of a sudden -- they made a documentary about him, and he's here in the new Foo Fighters video. Dave Grohl always turns my frown upside down.  By which I mean that I'd like to fuck him.

Off to the Blue & Gold Banquet. Mac and cheese all night bitches!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

What mamacita is...


photo via

I expected Exit Through the Gift Shop to be some kind of commentary about contemporary art -- which it is. What I didn't expect is that it would be hilarious. It's streaming on Netflix right now and you should watch it. Especially since Christmas Ape figured out Banksy's identity.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Jolie Blond

Today would have been my Grandpa's birthday. This was his favorite song.

Monday, February 14, 2011

What mamacita is...

Watching/Listening to

Since I cannot give you each a mixtape, I wish you a Happy Valentines Day with these. Heart you!

The Black Keys (4:00)

the Avett Brothers (4:59)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Stupid Math

On the way to work today I realized that I WAY under-tipped our waitress at lunch yesterday.  I don't know what made me think about it, but I started adding it up and... yeah. And she was so nice to us! We had a homemade birthday pie for someone that she sliced and delivered to the table and everything.

I blame my friends: they won't let me take off my shoes so I can cipher.
Well, shit. I have to go back and give her some more money, right? What do I say when I see her?

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I Fucking Hate Facebook

...because last night at 4:00 am I was thinking about this:

I graduated 11th (I think) in a class of 168.  Out of the people who graduated ahead of me,

5 are engineers--3 have MBAs; at least one has a patent
3 are MDs (one of whom also has an engineering degree)
1 is a DDS
1 is both a CPA and a CFP and is a partner in her firm

Clearly the smart money was not on me in 1993. Next time put it all on black, Mom.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Cutest Kids Ever Receive First Communion

January 30, 2011.

[Hell no, it wasn't on Super Bowl weekend.]

Friday, February 4, 2011

It Happened Again

Dammit, people why didn't you tell me that the White Stripes are so awesome? Why do I only figure out this shit after they break up? Where was I while they were making amazing records? Did I have my head that far up Dora's pudgy ass?

For those of you who figured this out a long time ago: Jeff Weiss posted a zip file of some White Stripes B-sides, live sessions and other "flotsam." [Flubby, thanks for taking a break from posting dead-baby stories to put up that link.]

Now I'm off to check out these "Strokes" people*. I'll let you know if they're any good. Although that would still put me behind the times -- who is Drew Barrymore fucking these days?

[*I lie: I'm listening to Van Morrison right now.]

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

What mamacita is...


I can't read any more. I think I've forgotten how. I can't even read magazine articles. BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS WORDS WORDS is all I think about when I'm reading. This was a long time coming, but the nail in the coffin was the BlackBerry [sic] Papi gave me for Christmas. On Sunday I was playing with it during the Bishop's sermon. Horrors!

I am just bored, bored, bored. [I have the same mental capacity as Eloise, now.] What's going on with you?

What are you making for the Super Bowl?