What Would Jane Austen Do?

via Let's be honest: the Academy Awards show is wicked boring. Here are some suggestions for the evening: I will be watching the red carpet arrivals, of course -- fingers crossed for a lot of Tom Ford gowns. This will be enhanced by the liveblogging of the Fug Girls starting at 5 Eastern time. The "Academy" should have tapped Ricky Gervais to host the show. He even wrote an intro for it on spec ! Since they didn't, you should watch The Ricky Gervais Show instead. It's on HBO on Demand right now. The whole show is Ricky Gervais and his partner-in-crime Stephen Merchant talking to their radio producer, Karl Pilkington . Karl is a British everyman, almost like Charlie Brown all grown up, and he is unintentionally hilarious (or he is possibly the greatest deadpan act ever -- honestly it doesn't matter).  If you don't get HBO, you could buy the podcast that the show was based on at Audible.com . And for further reading in making fun of famous peopl...

Before today I'd never heard of Dawn Meehan or her blog, Because I Said So . But I found her via some links today, and she's very funny. Best of all is the hilarious eBay post that started her writing career -- I am still wiping tears from my eyes. By the way, I didn't realize that I had passed 1,000 posts on this here blog. The 1,000th was " I Fucking Hate Facebook ." So suck on that, doctor friends; have you written 1,000 blog posts read by maybe 5 people total? NO YOU HAVE NOT.

Check out this amazing decoupage Edward Gorey recipe box, of which I am now insanely jealous. More at Diana's blog. Jezebel called Gorey's The Recently Deflowered Girl "the most inappropriate graduation gift since the Sex and the City box set." SOLD. .

I'd be lying if I said I knew who Lemmy was 6 months ago. But he's everywhere all of a sudden -- they made a documentary about him, and he's here in the new Foo Fighters video. Dave Grohl always turns my frown upside down.  By which I mean that I'd like to fuck him. Off to the Blue & Gold Banquet. Mac and cheese all night bitches!

Watching photo via I expected Exit Through the Gift Shop to be some kind of commentary about contemporary art -- which it is. What I didn't expect is that it would be hilarious . It's streaming on Netflix right now and you should watch it. Especially since Christmas Ape figured out Banksy's identity .

Today would have been my Grandpa's birthday. This was his favorite song.

Watching/Listening to Since I cannot give you each a mixtape, I wish you a Happy Valentines Day with these. Heart you! The Black Keys (4:00) the Avett Brothers (4:59)

On the way to work today I realized that I WAY under-tipped our waitress at lunch yesterday.  I don't know what made me think about it, but I started adding it up and... yeah . And she was so nice to us! We had a homemade birthday pie for someone that she sliced and delivered to the table and everything. I blame my friends: they won't let me take off my shoes so I can cipher.   Well, shit. I have to go back and give her some more money, right? What do I say when I see her?

this ...because last night at 4:00 am I was thinking about this: I graduated 11th (I think) in a class of 168.  Out of the people who graduated ahead of me, 5 are engineers--3 have MBAs; at least one has a patent 3 are MDs (one of whom also has an engineering degree) 1 is a DDS 1 is both a CPA and a CFP and is a partner in her firm Clearly the smart money was not on me in 1993. Next time put it all on black, Mom.

Emmet & Becca with Bishop Andy Doyle , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . January 30, 2011. [Hell no, it wasn't on Super Bowl weekend.]

image Dammit, people why didn't you tell me that the White Stripes are so awesome? Why do I only figure out this shit after they break up? Where was I while they were making amazing records? Did I have my head that far up Dora's pudgy ass? For those of you who figured this out a long time ago: Jeff Weiss posted a zip file of some White Stripes B-sides, live sessions and other "flotsam." [Flubby, thanks for taking a break from posting dead-baby stories to put up that link.] Now I'm off to check out these "Strokes" people*. I'll let you know if they're any good. Although that would still put me behind the times -- who is Drew Barrymore fucking these days? [*I lie: I'm listening to Van Morrison right now.]

Reading I can't read any more. I think I've forgotten how. I can't even read magazine articles. BLAH BLAH BLAH WORDS WORDS WORDS is all I think about when I'm reading. This was a long time coming, but the nail in the coffin was the BlackBerry [ sic ] Papi gave me for Christmas. On Sunday I was playing with it during the Bishop's sermon. Horrors! I am just bored, bored, bored. [I have the same mental capacity as Eloise , now.] What's going on with you? What are you making for the Super Bowl?