What Would Jane Austen Do?

 

When I was a kid, my mom made special efforts to get us all cultured and stuff. We went to any and every play that was put on in the Golden Triangle, and often when we went to Austin we would see something at Southwestern or at St. Edward's. Among the ones that stand out: My first concert, Billy Ocean at the Beaumont Civic Center. Lots of fainting black ladies. I was saucer-eyed. I think I was 10. The Wizard of Oz at the Port Arthur Civic Center, where mom says we watched the special effects guy much more than the play. Some retelling of Hamlet featuring a flatulent Claudius, at some theater in Austin. There were maybe 20 people in the audience, and we were 6 of them, but we walked out during Act I. And now, even though I have to remind myself to do it, I like getting out there to see what Houston has going on. Rossini's Otello , presented by Opera in the Heights So it turns out that Rossini's opera gutted the character of Iago , which is kind of a disappoint...

Watching It's the new Downton Abbey ! Or so the Beeb would have you think. Did you watch it?

The Karate Kid The kids were soooo into it. Emmet kept calling the bad guy a "jerkwad."

Reading :   I'm planning to read travelogues this summer. This one is pretty good. Watching: Light, sunny, perfect. Watching: I can't believe I hadn't seen this one before. Perfect, classic Woody Allen (how I miss him).

I've been reading The Pat Conroy Cookbook , and let me tell you it is a great read. But at a later time; first: my story. I was home (in BC) for Mother's Day. I was walking to my parents' house from my in-laws' house when I saw a woman wandering around the yard in a conical straw hat and a surgical mask. She was asking if anyone wanted to buy shrimp--her husband had been out on the boat that morning, and she had a pickup bed full of ice chests. I had to weigh my sister Peetie's warnings about botulism against $5.50/lb. So I drove home with two adults, two kids, a yellow lab, 20 pounds of shrimp on ice and three buckets of iris bulbs from my mom packed into the Ford Escape. Man, I love my car. The good news is that I haven't died yet--so far it seems that the shrimp are fine. And last weekend I finally got to make pickled shrimp. Pickled shrimp are evidently a Low Country thing, but they need to be an everywhere-people-sell-shrimp-out-of-their-pickups thi...

I'm going to have to unfollow some people today. 1. A picture of a cup of tea sitting on a bare, painted table--why did you even pin that? It's just a stupid cup of tea. Yes, you're so very pure of heart and unmaterialistic. SIMPLIFY, as your innumerable wall hangings say. 2. Equal and opposite: freeze-ahead Chicken Bacon Ranch Casserole sounds hella-gross. 3. Who the fuck buys dryer sheets*? And why would I want to know any "other" uses for them? *If it's you: stop it immediately. 4. Thanks for sharing your "Inspiration" board full of celebrity misquotes, but I evidently know more about men, love and life than you will ever learn. I'm sure there are more. What are your Pinterest pet peeves? Follow me, if you like.

I have this nail polish on my toes right now. It's making me so happy to look at it, I even went totally crazy and did my fingernails, too. Not my hand. Via . Yes, it is ridiculously expensive, but it's not like Becca's going to college: "Rebecca continues to struggle with appropriate school behavior. She has a discipline referral form in her backpack today. She was sent to the office for yelling in the hallways during STAAR testing. While in the office, she attempted to hit another student to “get some payback for [her] brother.” She then ran out of the office without permission when a parent opened the door and she thought she wasn’t being watched."

This one is a lot of fun.

This is probably the first thing I've cooked in six months that I could get excited about. This morning I had about five minutes to get something in the crockpot before the entire day went off the rails, so I put a couple of pounds of boneless, skinless chicken thighs in with an envelope of Wick Fowler's Taco Seasoning and a can of beer. Some time later we had chicken chalupas for Taco Night. I am a HERO. In case you can't make sense of the photo: a chalupa shell, refried beans [Are you the person who keeps demanding that stores sell fat-free refried beans? Because if you are, I'm not sure we can be friends.], chicken, tomatoes, green onions, the cheese that Emmet didn't immediately filch from the plate, plain Greek yogurt (if you're not the dumbass who accidentally bought yogurt with honey, because that really wouldn't work), and this Valentina hot sauce, which is awesome. Serve on your finest Dixie plate with a beer, a Dark & Stormy, or you kn...

The PTA had a Valentine Dance fundraiser on Friday night. Emmet's "date" was another fifth grader, Sarah. She was on the t-ball team I coached years ago. She's also a member of the junior geological society. But here's the killer: she was so excited when she told me that she was wearing the lip gloss and the perfume she got for Christmas. OMG HOW CUTE IS SHE?! Speaking of cute...Becca went solo, but she looked adorable, and I think she had fun. At dinner, after the dance, she showed us her new moves--the Chicken Dance and the Electric Slide.

Because I can't make fun of these people on Facebook... Angela F_____ I'll be glad when this rash is completely gone. Mitch H______ A Communist, a Muslim, and an Illegal Immigrant walk into a bar. The Bartender says..... "What are you drinking, Mr. President?" lol!!!!

I tried this new nail stuff: NutraNail Gel Perfect UV-Free Gel-Color . I honestly think it's superglue. At least, that's what it smelled like. And the results? Not good! I followed the package instructions on my right hand, and these instructions on the left. The polish looked okay, though it was a bit streaky, and maybe not as shiny as a salon manicure. Unfortunately, immediately after I washed my hair two days later, all the polish started chipping off. It was obvious that water got underneath the polish. Also, in spite of already being perhaps 50% chipped off, it was still a bit of work to get the rest of it off. Pros: at $12, it's cheaper than a Shellac manicure Cons: at $12, it's still a waste of money.

Finally had a second Soup Swap on Sunday. The last one was a couple of years ago. I thought there was some demand for a second one, but the turnout was kind of disappointing. HOWEVAH, here is the email I sent to everyone with recipes--thought you might be interested: Hi everyone! Thanks to all of you who came to the soup swap. I had a great time, and I can't wait to try your soups. We talked at the party about having other kinds of swaps--casserole, desserts, etc. Later last night I had an idea: since it's hard for everyone to get together, maybe we could share a monthly email with everyone's favorite new recipe in it. So let's say on February 20th or so, I would send an email to all of you requesting recipes. You would then respond directly to me with your new favorite recipe--send me a link to the recipe, or send the text of the recipe. [Just don't "reply all"--we would quickly be drowning in email.] On the first of the month, I can send th...

I'm shamelessly copying this from my friend Terri at A Girl in the South . SOPA is bad, m'kay? However, I'm not going on strike, because ... who suffers from that besides me? It seems to me that we would only be striking against ourselves, which is kinda nuts. Also, I don't know if I can get through a day without the Internet. Because Censorship Is Never Okay No recipes for Wednesday. In solidarity and protest against  SOPA  and  PIPA , A Girl in the South is joining the big wigs of the internets like  Reddit ,  Wikipedia ,  Boing Boing  and hundreds (if not thousands) of other sites and blogs by going on strike tomorrow, January 18th from 8:00 am to 8:00 pm. SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) could have a devastating effect on numerous websites, even little ones like ourselves. We are taking a stand against Censorship and urging everyone to educate themselves on this bill and contact your representatives if you agree that SOPA is a really ba...

And now, a personal list: Favorite New Book: Bossypants Favorite New-to-Me Book: the Canal House Cooking series Biggest Disappointment: Cooking 1-2-3 by Rozanne Gold Favorite Current Show: Community Favorite New-to-me Show: Party Down Biggest Disappointment: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia .  It was never highbrow, but it's gotten so disgusting I can't even watch it anymore. Runner-up: The Norm McDonald Show. Favorite New Movie:  I Am Love , though admittedly it's mostly for the sets and the clothes. Biggest Disappointment: TIE! Bridesmaids-- I probably shouldn't have built it up so much in my mind beforehand. The scene in the wedding dress shop was unwatchable, and the rest was pretty uneven. Midnight in Paris --Straight out of the disappointing Woody Allen cannon of misogyny and white people problems. You have to keep reminding yourself of the good times... Favorite New Documentary: Bill Cunningham New York. [Was this the only new documenta...

I think the entire month of January should be given over to end-of-year lists from December. I never have time to enjoy all of those during Christmas. [Also, in case I haven't mentioned it lately, it's a PET PEEVE that people take down Christmas on New Year's Day, or worse, December 26. The last day of Christmas is Epiphany, which is today. So what I'm saying is, slow down people . You're missing some of the good stuff.] Some I've been enjoying: Washington Post 's In/Out List for 2012 --Couldn't care less about Ryan Gosling, but white whiskey came up three times in one week of conversations; also I love Elizabeth Warren, but I'll need a place to hide through the wide-leg pants resurgence. And holy hell am I glad to know about Gary Clark, Jr . The AV Club's Best Non-2011 Pop Culture We Discovered This Year --But have I ever mentioned that another PET PEEVE is the phrase pop culture ? I absolutely loathe those words together. Read It Later...