What Would Jane Austen Do?

I forgot to tell you about the big doins’ in my family last week. My grandparents got married. Follow me: my mother’s parents were married in 1954. In quick succession they had my mother and her brother and sister. They divorced in 1967 or so (no one claims to remember the exact date). They remarried later – Pawpaw married a woman named Pat in 1969 and Granny married a man named W.T. in 1972. Years went by, grandchildren were born (ME, most importantly), etc. My grandparents still lived in my home town, and my mother and her siblings still had good relationships with everyone, including their stepparents. That was the situation when I was growing up – I had a bonus set of grandparents out of the deal, and everyone was happy. In 1999, Granny’s husband died; a few years later, Pawpaw’s wife died. And then Granny and Pawpaw got back together. The week after Thanksgiving Granny and Pawpaw suddenly announced that they would be getting remarried. If yo...

I love the post-Christmas sales, because I am a materialistic brat and yet a cheapskate at the same time. Usually December 26 is my time to shine, but I'm feeling no love today. Late at night on Christmas Eve I started my pre-shopping online. I found that Lands' End's post-holiday sale is disappointing -- limited selection, and no shipping deals to be had right now. Early this morning I checked out Crane.com and found some cards I liked, but again, the shipping is outrageous (16% of the order!). So at 7:30 this morning I set out for the shops. I got to Bering's early and waited in line for the doors to open -- you cannot question my committment, here -- in search of cards and paper, but it turns out that they sold out of paper on Christmas Eve. [I guess they're glad that they didn't have to mark down their inventory, but surely they left some money on the table because of it.] Then I went to Tanglewood Pharmacy, but they didn't have anything I wanted (...

You may have already known this, but just in case you didn't: Redbox, the kiosk full of $1-a-day movie rentals, has a website where you can not only find the nearest Redbox location, but you can also browse the current inventory and reserve the title before you even leave your house. Sweet!

A long, long time ago, before you were born, MTV didn't suck balls. No really, it's true. Check this out: HT: TeenyManolo

1. Eartha Kitt wrote a book . 2. W.B. Yeats was a virgin until he was 31 . 3. Stalin was a great singer . 4. Rice University owned Yankee Stadium for almost 10 years . 5. Monosodium glutamate was developed to give umami taste to foods. 6. You can use NORAD to track Santa this Christmas Eve . 7. Blue Iris is Pantone's Color of the Year for 2008 . 8. You can bake cupcakes in jelly jars . 9. Some people harbor a parasite that makes them more likely to be eaten by cats . 10. Cooliris is the shizz .

To tell you the truth, I had never heard of Theresa Duncan or James Blake until I read the article about their suicides in Vanity Fair . The article isn't gut-wrenchingly sad, just a bizarre story. But then I watched the animated film that they put out a few years ago called The History of Glamour , and now I'm incredibly sorry that they aren't around to do more like it. The film, which appeared in the Whitney Biennial in 2000, is so slyly funny and sincere and says a lot of things I wish I could articulate in such an ingenious way. If you have 40 minutes, I highly recommend it. Especially for you, Decorno and SGM . Now where can I get my hands on Chop Suey , the video game Duncan produced that David Sedaris narrated?

I know it’s been a while since I posted. Truthfully, Mamacita was hanging out on the Sucking side of life. I was seriously contemplating blogicide; only thoughts of Jenny’s cat stopped me from pulling the plug. After all, who wants to read bad news all the time? I certainly don’t want to write it. But I’m glad I didn’t – I had a really awesome weekend and I can’t wait to tell you about it. Thursday night [when does your weekend start?] I went with some of my besties to the pool hall, where we drank tequila and nearly peed our pants laughing. Friday I baked Jam Trio cookies all day with John , then hung out again with said friends, this time in a more wholesome fashion, at the park with our urchins. Saturday I went to a cookie exchange party. My favorite cookies were the Hamilton sugar cookies; I will try to post a recipe later. I gave some to my Granny and she said that her aunt Mary used to make some just like that, calling them “teacakes.” They were delic...

You know what a good friend is? A good friend will take you in, when you're having a bad day, and make you cookies and crackers * and more cookies. A good friend understands the importance of carbohydrates and will not even mention how big your ass is getting. A really good friend will even pick flowers for you from her garden, plus watch your heathen child all evening long while you take care of business. Letitia Van Campen is one hell of a good friend. That's totally a picture of us, by the way. *She made these Pioneer Woman crackers with a slice of jalapeño and, son, they were good .

Is Day of Ninja! How to celebrate? Let's Ask a Ninja :

I saw this in an ad yesterday and it would be so perfect for Emily . Available (for a little while, anyway) at Past Era .

Watching: Oh, Lord, I love me some fat baby cheeks. (1:40) Watching: Remember those Chinese dudes who lip-synched to Backstreet Boys ? They have a great one in Chinese, too. Watching: The Evolution of Dance. (6:00)

I decided to make roasted chicken, because 1) it is supposedly easy, and I might have even done it before (can’t remember), 2) it is really cold in the house and I want to turn on the oven, and 3) I have two chickens in the freezer (bought on sale!) waiting for this very purpose. I bought them planning to roast them two at a time, so that I would have leftovers for chicken soup for Thursday night’s dinner and Chinese chicken salad for lunch later in the week. How frugal and housewifey of me! I am June Fucking Cleaver! Well. This morning I took the two chickens out of the big freezer. This afternoon I spent twenty minutes on the Internet looking for the Platonic ideal roasted chicken recipe. Then I went into the kitchen and could not find my roasting pan. Q: How do you lose a roasting pan in an 8x6 room? A: You lose it in the playroom instead. But I was finally ready with the room-temperature butter, the spice rub (and absolutely none of the other elements th...

How much do you love Snoop Dogg?

1. Mary Edwards Walker was a feminist, physician, spy and abolitionist and the only woman to receive the Medal of Honor . 2. Neil Diamond wrote "Sweet Caroline" thinking of Caroline Kennedy . 3. Carolyne Roehm's real name is Jane Smith . 4. "We Can Work It Out" was only released as a single, never an original album track . 5. The Beatles catalogue is still not available in any online format. 6. As of November 2007, the Beatles' solo catalogues are available on iTunes, though . 7. Rube Foster was the first president of the Negro National League .* *Okay, I have to tell you how I learned this. I volunteered to judge the 3rd-5th grade History Fair at school. I was assigned to the third grade individual entries. The little girl who won was far and away the best entry I saw. I talked to her mother (an acquaintance of mine) after the event. She said that he daughter was REALLY into black history (a little surprising, since she's not black, but th...