What Would Jane Austen Do?

Reading With all the fervor I used to save for the J. Crew catalog. "Look, Papi, aren't these tomatoes just precious ?" Watching Because I'm down with the urban experience, y'all. Witness: Approximate number of times I said, "Huh?" to Papi -- 75 Approximate number of times Papi said, "What'd he say?" to me -- 25 Listening to I think I'm getting high just from listening to them.

Why, oh why, did I feel compelled to make a reference to Viagra in a meeting with a church committee where I work? Am I now just incapable of being appropriate?

If meth is wrong, maybe I don't want to be right.

You expect us to believe that not even one of these is a porn site?

Reading This book is far too scary and violent for me, but they seem to like it. Watching Takes me right back to a happy place...

I got totally obsessed with Chinese New Year this year. Papi and I have been cleaning out closets, bookshelves and cabinets, and we've thrown away tons of junk. Last night as he was drifting off to sleep, I woke him up in a panic because we still had a box stored under the bed -- bad feng shui. Today I threw out the paperwhites (white= color of mourning) and we hung up some paper lanterns. I also replaced the coins I used to have hanging in the corner of the living room (I gave them to my friend Shana as a housewarming present, and she came into a windfall immediately , FYI). Which makes me realize that I'm rather superstitious for, you know, an Episcopalian . Now Becca and I are about to work on the crafts we found here ; then I'm off to buy a kumquat tree. Here's wishing you a prosperous new year. Photo via flickr, with thanks to sachman75 .

For the new President (this is his favorite poet) and for the lovely Karen , who is also from Trinidad. This is my favorite Derek Walcott poem. Blues Those five or six young guys hunched on the stoop that oven-hot summer night whistled me over. Nice and friendly. So, I stop. MacDougal or Christopher Street in chains of light. A summer festival. Or some saint's. I wasn't too far from home, but not too bright for a nigger, and not too dark. I figured we were all one, wop, nigger, jew, besides, this wasn't Central Park. I'm coming on too strong? You figure right! They beat this yellow nigger black and blue. Yeah. During all this, scared in case one used a knife, I hung my olive-green, just-bought sports coat on a fire plug. I did nothing. They fought each other, really. Life gives them a few kicks, that's all. The spades, the spicks. My face smashed in, my bloody mug pouring, my olive-branch jacket saved from cuts and tears, I crawled four flights upstairs. Sprawled i...

I'm having another one of those moments where I just saw an awesome movie that everybody finished talking about months ago. God dammit . In Bruges is fucking excellent. Rent it. I found it on some list of "Most Overlooked" movies, and I have to concur. Here's Roger Ebert's review , which gives a little too much away, I think. N.B. to Letitia -- Not for you.

I think I'm going to start a blog for all the furniture described as "unique"on Craigslist. "This is a unique coffee table . It has a cowboy laying down with a glass top." I know I'm gonna have to arm wrestle Joni for this one. " Awesome Wall Cube Decor ." Decorate like the Flintstones! ' In the event that you live in a pineapple under the sea... Unrelated : It gives me the shivers when someone lists a mattress for sale and describes it with the words, "No rips."

This woman really gets it.

Zicam: check Tortilla Soup from El Rey : check Hot toddy: in progress I love this mug. It says, "Mom's Mug." Not, "World's Greatest Mom!" or "I love Mom!" It's, "Without Commenting On Her Parenting Skills, This Piece Of Crockery Belongs To My Biological Mother." Which is why there's bourbon in it.

Reading & Listening to As soon as I can find a copy. Watching Dude, Salma Hayek is on there now. Sssssweet!

One of the things that I love about Michelle Obama is the way she moves in her clothes. Ballgown, First Lady Suit, slacks and a sweater -- she always owns it, and looks like she belongs in the clothes. P.S. to M.O. -- Taking a cue from Mrs. Reagan was a good move. Poor Laura Bush looked like a centaur in 2005.

I have planted: Sweet Pepper "Chinese Giant" (Red) Sweet Pepper "California Wonder Orange" "Fine Leaf" Chives "True Greek" Oregano "Dukat Leafy" Dill Italian Parsley "Sweet Burpless Hybrid" Cucumber "Slow-Bolt" Cilantro "Super Bush" Container Tomato "Chianti Rose" Heirloom Tomato "Rainbow Blend" Cherry Tomato "Alaska Mix" Heirloom Nasturtiums "Hot Crayon Colors" Cutting Zinnias "Cool Crayon Colors" Cutting Zinnias "Italian Pesto" Basil

Obama fun fact: President Obama is younger than the actress who played Andrea Zuckerman on Beverly Hills 90210. via Houstonist

So there was a point to all this blogger-partying. Quaker sponsored the party, and in honor of the inauguration celebrations donate crates of oatmeal to the Houston Food Bank. As it happens, you can join in the fun. If you log in your Quaker UPCs on Facebook , they will donate in your honor.

Karen: "How many comments do you have so far?" Jenny: "Over 100." Bitches.

There is a move afoot to change the national anthem to something by Parliament.

Yay, internet: Elizabeth Alexander

I'm at Karen's now, 1.5 hours late, of course. I'm glad I came -- the oatmeal is outstanding . The caterer simmered the oatmeal in milk with brown sugar, cinnamon, raisins and a pinch of salt. Then he added sunflower seeds at the end. Yum. The new president is talking on the tv. Beautiful day. P.S. -- Yay science! GObama!

"History will judge you on what you can build, not what you can destroy."

So I'm supposed to go to this blogger party at Karen's (brought to you by Quaker Oatmeal). But I'm lying in my warm bed in an empty house with the day off. Oh, if only there were more to lure me to the party than oatmeal. The bottle of Prosecco is in my fridge.

I-Miss-Cayce Edition Having a Coke with You by Frank O'Hara is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary it is hard to believe when I’m with you that there can be anything as still as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it in the warm New York 4 o’clock light we are drifting back and forth between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them ...

Word to the wise: don't do your potting in the dining area. It makes a bloody awful mess.

Look how cute this drawing is. It's the ad for an opera they ran last fall at the Moores Opera Center at the University of Houston . Now, why don't I like opera? I love the costumes. The music I don't mind. And ... the costumes are gorgeous. The plots are awful, but other people seem to get past that. And you'd think it wouldn't matter compared to, you know, the costumes. There's a little bit of the ballpark effect -- you have to shell out fat ducats to have a bad view of something. Even if you're sitting right in the orchestra pit, you can't see very well at the big venues. Is this helped by opera glasses and a high-roller balcony? Someone will have to fill me in. Also it might help if I understood Italian.

Reading Watching

I'll let Mr. Kottke describe: Songsmith is a piece of software by Microsoft Research that automatically creates a musical accompaniment to a singer's voice. A MetaFilter member took David Lee Roth's vocal track from Runnin' With The Devil and put it through Songsmith... the results are pretty great .

Darcy Miller, who is the Martha Stewart Weddings editor. She often wears this neckline. And these great color combinations. And patterned hose! Too few people wear patterned hose. [Lousy picture because I had to enlarge it.] Her wedding picture -- I really like the veil. This isn't a great picture of her, but how cute is that jacket? I am noticing all of this, of course, because she's short and has no waist -- I can relate, let's say. And she always wears such great jewelry. I left this picture larger so you could see the gorgeous necklace. Also of note: Martha's "behind-the-scenes" article .

This one goes out to all of you who are freezing your asses off right now. Red Boots On by Kit Wright Way down Geneva, All along Vine, Deeper than the snow drift Love's eyes shine: Mary Lou's walking In the winter time. She's got Red boots on, she's got Red boots on, Kicking up the winter, Till the winter's gone. So Go by Ontario, Look down Main, If you can't find Mary Lou, Come back again: Sweet light burning In winter's flame. She's got Snow in her eyes, got A tingle in her toes And new red boots on Wherever she goes So All around Lake Street, Up by St. Paul, Quicker than the white wind Love takes all: Mary Lou's walking In the big snow fall. She's got Red boots on, she's got Red boots on Kicking up the winter Till the winter's gone.

"Mommy, how do you spell 'why?'"

Cayce was evidently shopping for high-end sex toys for her new house when she sent me a link to this: the personal condom dispenser. And it's German Design, y'all, so don't be making fun. It's from a store called Canoe , which sells (obviously) sex toys. And yes, Lisagh, it would look smashing with an engraved monogram.

Reading Such a good book. It won the Caldecott last year -- the gorgeous black-and-white drawings are part of the story. Good for grown-ups, too.

Go see Austenbook -- Jane Austen's characters on facebook.

So very, very stabby. Back in a moment. Must take a pill and lie down.

The Best Cigarette There are many that I miss having sent my last one out a car window sparking along the road one night, years ago. The heralded one, of course: after sex, the two glowing tips now the lights of a single ship; at the end of a long dinner with more wine to come and a smoke ring coasting into the chandelier; or on a white beach, holding one with fingers still wet from a swim. How bittersweet these punctuations of flame and gesture; but the best were on those mornings when I would have a little something going in the typewriter, the sun bright in the windows, maybe some Berlioz on in the background. I would go into the kitchen for coffee and on the way back to the page, curled in its roller, I would light one up and feel its dry rush mix with the dark taste of coffee. Then I would be my own locomotive, trailing behind me as I returned to work little puffs of smoke, indicators of progress, signs of industry and thought, the signal that told the nineteenth century it was ...

"Why people, who have not committed any punishable offense, listen to country and western music, is absolutely beyond me." John Cleese, here

Listening to Will I ever listen to another band? Maybe; maybe not... Thanks, C(BMGD). Planning a trip to... Get the guest room ready, Oprah.

new mirror , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . In the process of sprucing up the hizzy -- this was a Craigslist find. The mirror is bigger than it looks here, for some reason.