Tuesday, May 25, 2010

SGM, We have a project!

There is a rumor going around that Bravo is casting a Real Housewives series for Houston. I'm a housewife in Houston! Well, at least as much as any of those other broads. So this is what I'm going to wear to the audition -- tell me what you think:

Houston Barbie by Mamacita

Items in this set:
Cotton Twill Blazer, $34
Red Bow Pocket Skirt, 14 GBP
The less work you have to do, the more professional you have to look, of course.

Yolanda 120 patent pump, $660
Just your basic errand-running shoes. Nothing too high.

18K White Gold & Diamond Extra Large Hoops, $4,730
Houston Barbie will describe these as "simple, elegant."

1/2ct Diamond Cross Pendant | Overstock.com, $390
Jesus comes first in my life. Jesus and shiny things.

It goes without saying: "simple, elegant" French manicure, Big Sexy Hair hairspray, and an "elegant" little trowel for putting on your makeup.

It's modeled after my favorite Houston Barbie, Victoria Osteen. [Just because you're a Christian leader doesn't mean you can't smack a bitch flight attendant, amirite?]

Image: flickr


  1. Damn! You are so gonna win this contest! You are a REAL housewife, you are a Houstonian, and YES--you can't go wrong using the Bitchtoria Osteen playbook...Ever.
    Ok- I must confess I don't know what this show is. Is it a reality show? Will Papi be on it to? Do we need to worry about his angle/attire etc? What about the kids?
    Might want to stock up on some teeth whitener for the whole family.

    Do they still have the Petroleum club in Houston? Might be a good place to do some research...and by "research" I mean drinking...

  2. Mer, you are too cute. Yes, it's a reality show. Go here for comprehensive analysis.

    Don't know if the Petroleum Club is still around ... I've certainly never been invited ;-)

  3. I love you.

    And also? You'll need to lose about 50 IQ points to be on this show.

  4. Mamacita, I went to the website you linked to and this show doesn't look very wholesome...If you want to be on it, might want to enroll in a middle school undercover for the last week of school.

  5. This made me giggle so hard I had to catch my breath! Love it! And I agree with SGM, seriously, at least 50 IQ points. And remember to come up with a catchphrase, they love those!

  6. Sister! Have I got a deal for you!! I can arrange it for you to lose those 50 IQ points AND hang out at a 3 star Junior High while you do it! Just ask me for details!