I Get Email

from Daddy:
Well, I went and bought some Rye and Sweet Vermouth in anticipation of creating the perfect Manhattan.   Results: Let's say I'm not a big fan of rye, but I can see acquiring the taste for it.  However, that vermouth crap is just NASTY!  Who can drink that shit and say they like the taste?  I had to catch the cat and lick his ass just to get that vermouth taste out of my mouth.  YUCK!  Pass the raw oysters and broccoli please.

Comments

  1. SaraOctober 19, 2011 at 1:43 PM

    Hmm... and all of a sudden I have a much deeper understanding of where you get your outlook on life. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. SGMOctober 20, 2011 at 2:12 PM

    I've read the whole email about 5 times and I laugh every single time at the cat's ass part, like a little dumb baby.

    (Also, there was a V-Talk Summer's Eve ad on your sidebar. What jacknut created that ad campaign?)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Retro-luxeOctober 31, 2011 at 11:26 AM

    Rye whiskey is good. I like it because it is not as sweet as bourbon. Good vermouth is the key to a good manhattan. Did he buy the cheap stuff? Gallo? That is shit! Another thing-- vermouth has a short shelf life. So if he went to a shitty liquor store like the one in my neighborhood where the liquor bottles have dust on them, he might have gotten a bad batch. Just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ReaderRitaNovember 7, 2011 at 10:44 AM

    Gotta get Noilly Prat sweet vermouth. And only use a little bit. Never more than half a shot. Plus, if you can find Canadian Rye, it's smooth as glass. Quite tasty.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reading/ Watching/ Listening

 Reading: The Rules of Civility by Amor Towles. I didn't like it nearly as much as A Gentleman in Moscow . In fact, I liked it only barely enough to keep reading. Watching: Poker Face , on Peacock. Papi and I have enjoyed watching this, one episode at a time, and not every day. It's a little formulaic, but the sets and the guest stars are fun. I like that it changes scenery every episode. Listening to: The Beatles Channel, Sirius XM. Ever since watching Get Back , the Beatles documentary, I've enjoyed listening to them with new ears.
Read more

The Bikini Wax: An Internal Dialogue

God, this is horrifying. I wonder if she's as embarrassed as I am. OW! Ow MOTHERFUCKER! Okay, this hurts less than childbirth, but only because it doesn't last as long. What is she saying? I wish I spoke Vietnamese. I think I outweigh the entire staff combined. Dude, where is she going? They need a picture on this ceiling. They would probably put up a picture of Hannah Montana. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. Hey, I bet my nails are dry. I wonder if the liquor store next door sells ice. Next time I'm paying more for a place with numbing cream. Which is worse -- being her or being me? OW. Me. At times like this it's good to have some poetry memorized. 'Twas brillig and the ... the ... Dammit. HOW BIG IS MY VAGINA? She could have mowed the back 40 by now. God, how come nobody told me this shit was growing halfway down my leg? Did I water the clematis last night? Next time: vodka first. Next time: Vicodin first.
Read more

Be Awesome for Halloween

Image
You are a total hoser if you don’t dress up for Halloween. Granted, I haven’t dressed up in a few years, but I am about to change that this year. I have an idea … but it’s a surprise! Actually, I have lots of Halloween ideas. I’ve put together a few sample ideas for some of my favorite bloggers. If you find yourself in need of inspiration, send me a link to your blog, or just describe what you’re doing on Halloween night, and I’ll give you a hand. Emily and Rob : Alice and Ralph Kramden ! Soletrain : ODB . Wouldn’t you pay money to see Uncle John wearing a grill? Anyway, I’m sure he already has the outfit. He just needs to accessorize with a 40. Bunny Tomerlin : Goth princess . Because I bet she’s never even worn PVC. (Polyvore set via Haley ) Grosgrain Garage : preppy Jesus – Bonnanos, tunic with gingham trim and a ribbon belt, pearls worn as a thorny crown Megan: Now that she's succumbed to making wreaths , Mega...
Read more