Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Don't Give to Jerry's Kids (and other bile)


1. Stupid fucking Jerry's kids stole Becca's doctor. I called to make an appointment for her today, and found out that her neurologist, who I liked, has stopped seeing epilepsy patients because he is now focusing on MS and MD patients. I immediately concluded that it's because those showboat cripples have their own telethons and raise more money than epilepsy patients do. So the next time a firefighter asks you to help "fill the boot," tell him to go fuck himself.

2. I had to go to Wal-Mart today (Target was closed), and the lines were epic, even by Wal-Mart standards. [Fools! The "Express" line is NEVER faster.] Anyway, I tried to take a picture, but it didn't come out. Did you know that you can get kicked out of Wal-Mart for taking pictures? This would be a new record for my family -- my mom has only been kicked out of a Target. [Note: I did not poll my sister, Peetie.]

3. My friend Katie's mom sent her an email today. The subject line was, "What you miss by not going to church." The body of the email was empty -- as in, you miss nothing. I am amazed that mothers send their grown daughters email to discourage church attendance. I think the stork dropped me off at the wrong house.

4. However, I might need to take my kids to Sunday school eventually. We were at the MFAH on Sunday and I pointed out a Frida Kahlo painting called Moses. I was trying to show the little urchins some of the features in the painting, and I said, "You know, the story of Moses? He went down the river in a basket?" Blank looks. They're never going to pass art history.

4 comments:

  1. "I immediately concluded that it's because those showboat cripples have their own telethons and raise more money than epilepsy patients do"

    I love you!

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  2. A friend of a friend was trying to get her daughter enrolled in a catholic elementary school. They had an interview with the principal, Sister so and so. The young girl looked up as the nun was speaking, pointed to a picture of Jesus and said "Who's that guy?"

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  3. Oh that sucks about the doctor!

    When he was three Jasper somehow got it into his head that Santa delivers baby Jesus via Fed Ex.

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  4. Thanks for giving me another reason to hate Jerry. As if the Martin/Lewis feud wasn't enough.
    Hang in there Mamacita!

    ReplyDelete