Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Red Party

In case you missed Mer's comments on the previous post, let's review:

I've been invited to a "Red" party for an 11 year old this weekend to celebrate the onset of her menarche. Does anyone know the protocol for these type of celebrations? Do you think Madonna's "Like a Virgin" be a good gift? Or should I bring a large container of advil? Box of kotex? I could fashion the pads into some nametags for the guests I suppose...
Setting aside the WTF aspect of the party, our buddy Mer needs advice here.

Your idea of giving her Like a Virgin has some merit. Perhaps you would never be invited to a red party again, which seems like a worthy goal.

Otherwise, I'm thinking that you need to give her something red, right? [And that everyone is wearing red to the party and you're going to eat red velvet cake in the shape of a maxi pad, yes?] So here are my ideas for red:

I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that someone has written a book on exactly this topic. My Little Red Book is a compilation of anecdotes from women about their first periods. There's a good review at Jezebel. In fact, Jezzie has lots of suggestions about first-period kits and gifts. Those bitches think of everything.

I feel sort of timid now suggesting red lipgloss and/or nail polish in a red makeup bag (this is a cute one from etsy).

But my favorite idea is this tin, or a similar red container featuring a white cross (possibly made from tape or something) filled with emergency chocolate. And some nuts -- oh my God, don't forget the salty.

(HT: Mighty Goods for the tin)

Mer, we expect a full report on the party.


  1. It's not red per se, but what about The Moon in My Room?

    I actually have one in Zoey's room cause I think it's so cool, but it could be a hippie menses gift easy-peasy!

  2. Mamacita-I've been trying to comment all morning--kids are driving me crazy! Anyhow- THANK YOU for the gift ideas. I love the red cross container and your idea about the chocolates and salt snacks. I'll add some advil and some kotex. I'm on my way to put it all together. I will give you a full report. Unless it's like this, in which case I will run screaming from the premises:

  3. Petunia face--I have one of those moons in my son's room. They are too cool!

  4. This is probably too much for an 11 year old red party, but for a 13 year old or older girl I would probably give them "If You Can't Live Without Me Why Aren't You Dead Yet?" by Cynthia Heimel. Or perhaps just a copy of the PMS shopping essay to tuck into their cute emergency kit. The mom might never speak to me again, but seriously, we need to learn these things early.

  5. So bizarre! I'd go with something that is "womanly" - like a pair of nice earrings or perfume.

    Anywho, did you know that Google has a warning up about "adult content" before I'm allowed to view your site?

  6. MrsEm, you sweet thing, I think you must have missed the Nasty Fetish Final Four Tournament that I was hosting earlier this week. That's all over now, so when I finally get it off the first page I'll remove the warning.

  7. Well- here I am with my report. This was a most interesting gathering that included a ceremony where the guests sat and a circle and gave the young girl advice regarding womanhood. There were some prayers and rituals. Both mother and daughter were very moved and touched by the whole thing.
    Thanks to you Mamacita, the young woman was thrilled with the gift I brought. However, she quickly gave all the candy away to her friends. I should have explained more about the purpose of that kit. Now she's just left with the salty snacks and no sweet...

  8. WHAT THE FUCK?? Was this real?? That is weird. And I usually really embrace weird.

  9. Jen, why the foul language over an event that is so precious and sacred.