What Would Jane Austen Do?

So I bought this comforter yesterday. Yes, it's a comforter in a bag from Target: sue me. I needed something easy. It's supposed to be chartreuse, but it looks a little more baby-shit brown in my bedroom. The trim is very dark brown. This is where it gets difficult: I seriously need some curtains. Right now my bedroom windows are covered with wrapping paper, which is pretty ghetto, even for me. So I need your help in finding curtains. I'm also open to whatever other suggestions you have about the room. Currently it is just a white box with berber carpet. The dresser and closets are built-ins (painted white) so I'm not looking for more furniture, although I am looking to make an upholstered headboard. I was also thinking about these Audubon prints (from a book) for the walls, but now I'm not so sure. And this was the original inspiration, FWIW: (more here ) And so to solicit as many replies as possible, I'll sweeten the pot. One commenter chosen at ra...

Today I started doing the work of two people, still with my part-time hours and no pay increase, of course. It was coming in from all sides, so right now I'm hiding under my desk. Don't worry, I found some Cheez-Its under here; I should be fine for a while. The best part of today was the "Wishing to Join" card that some kid left in a collection plate: Date: 6-6-06 Name: vampire Home: 1563 Lodge Center Work: killing demons Birthdate: 1891, April 1 Have you been baptized: No Transferring from: waste management

Or does it get better after the pilot ?

A good Christian rock band? Now I really have seen everything. Naturally, they are nuttier than a box of Goo Goo Clusters. I did wonder if they were a hoax, but the photos on their website suggest otherwise. And this may be their only good song -- those two songs about the heresy of the Trinity aren't very good. via Flubby

Lady lawyers in Britain are getting some kind of lingerie allowance . I don't fully understand what working late has to do with needing new underwear, but I couldn't pass up the chance to make an "Are You Being Served?" reference.

These are some of my favorite Ask MetaFilter discussions. [ Here is the list of user-voted favorites of all time. ] Upgrade Me I Love You, Smartwool Easy Ways to Make Life Easier Let's Make Life Fun and Easy Brilliant Recurring Calendar Events World's Most Useful Dead Tree Catalogs The Best Bargains at IKEA Best Grilled Cheese Sandwich How can I search for cheap last-minute flights out of a particular city but with no particular destination in mind?

Family movie for tonight . With Charles Grodin! And I forgot it was set in London -- that's especially exciting. I tried to explain to Becca that when I was a girl I liked Miss Piggy just as much as she likes Hello Kitty.

Every damn time , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . I suppose I would lose my purpose in life if anyone else ever replaced it.

Mer is my favorite person now because she sent me this. NSFW DON'T MESS WITH MY PILES!

Weekly Reader tote from BackGarage's etsy shop. It would be the most perfect library tote ever .

The Rugh Family Workshop makes this and other cool Autism-awareness posters.

As discussed previously, Choire Sicha is truly one of my favorite homos. But he is so wrong about these new flavors at the Shake Shack! They sound pretty good to me. [With the possible exception of Balsamic Fig, but maybe nobody goes there on Thursdays anyway.]

My kids didn't get to watch the Commandant's President's speech this morning, because their teachers felt like they couldn't give up any valuable instruction worksheet-shuffling time. This made Papi pretty hot under the collar, so we sat the kids down this afternoon and made them drink the Kool-Aid watch the speech. It really was an excellent talk -- important socialist ideas communicated to children in an effective way. I think the President should brainwash address schoolchildren at the beginning of every year. Seems like a good way to pass on communist patriotic values. But in case your children didn't catch it, here is the video of the speech .

Reading I've nursed a crush on P.J. O'Rourke for almost two decades now. Watching The next time I get a movie from Netflix and Letitia says, "Oh, Mike and I loved that movie!" I think I'm going to return it unopened. He's a lovable slob! Who majored in philosophy! He likes Josie and the Pussycats! He's good with kids! He and his friends dress like 15 year-olds! They make up zen koans about sex! No one in this movie can act his way out of a paper bag, and the combination of book-jacket philosophy and 1998 fashion is more than my senses can take. Furthermore, I have to disagree with Roger Ebert : every line in this movie was entirely predictable. There has never been a less-sexy movie. It made Flipper look like an erotic thriller. F minus.

A few weeks ago, we started having Family Movie Night on Fridays. It was originally supposed to be Family Game Night, but after the fifteenth round of Cranium Cadoo in five minutes, I realized I wasn't cut out for Family Game Night. So a couple of weeks ago, we watched The Incredibles , which is an awesome movie, I don't care who you are. Then last week we watched Annie Get Your Gun , which was also great. This week we're watching Flipper (the original 1963 version). Emmet has asked questions about every single thing going on. "Who's that guy? Why did he go in the water? Is that dolphin going to be okay?" Papi has taken to making up answers, all of which Emmet believes: "He's going to eat the dolphin. Yeah, the mom is going to cut up the dolphin and cook it. That dad really hates dolphins." And so on. The best part is watching the kid do all the chores. That sort of labor is entirely foreign around here. Papi suggested that we might t...

I'm here to give you bad news: there is going to be a sequel to Big Momma's House 2 . But I'll let my personal hero, Amelie Gillette, take it from here : Since 2006, Martin Lawrence has dutifully risen everyday at 8am, marched into his temperature-controlled walk-in closet, and Febrezed "Big Momma," the bulbous fat suit he wore in Big Momma's House and Big Momma's House 2: Wider Load . "Maybe today we'll get the call," he'd whisper to the fat suit, while lifting up the mushy belly and spraying underneath. "And when they do, we'll be all fresh and ready to go, won't we, Big Momma? [in high-pitched Big Momma voice] Sho' will, Martin!" Then he'd toss the now empty bottle of Febreze into the trash, and head off to Best Buy to buy more copies of Madea's Family Reunion and Madea Goes To Jail DVDs to pile in his driveway and run over with his car. Go read it.

Shana at the Texans game , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . Shana took me to the Texans game last night for my birthday. She's the best.