What Would Jane Austen Do?

Great series at The Onion: critics talk about the best non-2010 movies/music/books they discovered in 2010. Part one: music Part two: etc .

photo via Nicolas Genin The King's Speech is every bit as wonderful as you were hoping it would be.  Colin Firth, OMG.  (Is that an order of knighthood?  It should be.)  I know the movie isn't playing everywhere, but if I were even within two hours of a theater (MOM) I would rush to see it. FYI: It was showing on two screens at the theater I went to, and all showings were selling out. I think it's going to break records for per-screen average revenues.

via Why yes, I am watching Santa Buddies ; why do you ask? I think the gold medal for Worst Christmas Movie of All Time goes without debate to Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer .  All persons involved with that movie should be set loose in the forest and hunted down as animals by a party of angry parents.  Santa Buddies earned its spot on the list, too.  [Papi tried to convince Becca that the real name of the movie is Santa CLAWS and at the end the dogs kill and eat all the people.  Yeah, I don't know why our kids are so weird.] And that's without mentioning anything from the Hallmark Channel or Lifetime (which Papi should also be allowed to rewrite).

'Tis the season for Best-of-2010 lists. Here's Urban Dictionary's (NSFW, for those of you still at work this week). No doubt gate rape earned the top spot, but double rainbow will always have a place in my heart.

picture via I Heart Guts Becca had surgery on Friday to correct reflux in her ureters.  The reflux had been responsible for multiple UTIs and kidney damage (she's down to 25% function in one kidney). We've known about the problem since late in the summer, and we knew the surgery was coming up, so it wasn't an emergency or anything. The surgery involved cutting through her bladder, detaching her ureters and reattaching them at a better angle. Oy . Anyway, the kid is doing better now.  We were able to come home Saturday afternoon, and the wound dressing came off today.  She's hurting a little, but she'll be okay. My mom took this picture right after we were put in a room on Friday following surgery.  Becca is holding on to the remote so no one can change the channel while she naps.  About two minutes after the photo was taken, she woke up and said, "I want to change into a cuter nightgown."  She has been absolutely showered with "get-well" pr...

Watching I recorded this a while back, but it's still airing through December.  Love me some Fran Lebowitz. You might also like to know that Carrie Fisher's Wishful Drinking is coming to HBO this month, too.  These were perhaps not the most obvious choices for HBO to fill the void left by Kenny F. Powers, but I'm happy. Listening to Target has 14 Christmas songs available for (free) download on their site , in case you were looking for some new Yuletide jams.  Amazon is also releasing one free Christmas MP3 per day all month long .  My favorite so far is Fleet Foxes'.

I thought I posted about this last year, but evidently not.  American Science & Surplus (yes, A.S.S. har ) has all kinds of cool stuff.  I love getting Christmas presents for the kids from them.  Last year Santa brought E&B a laser pointer, a pocket microscope, and shrinky dink film.  This year in the sleigh (so far) are a 3D drawing pad (complete with glasses), a can crusher, a 10' long sheet of adhesive dry erase board, a bag of rocks for experiments, and a simple telescope.  They also have marshmallow guns, potato guns, robot parts, hexabugs, gyroscopes, and all manner of tubes, bearings, wiring and gas masks.  And French riot helmets!  Hydraulic cylinders!  Solar-powered flashlights!  So much fun stuff you'll have a hard time choosing. Not a paid review or anything; just passing along the info.

Bethle-may-hem , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . Dateline: Bethlehem. All hell broke loose when the manger was attacked by kamikaze paper airplanes...

Mer sent me a link to this handy list of tv holiday specials .  Thanks, Mer! P.S.: Apropos of Babble's obsession with Angelina Jolie -- a fascination I do not understand -- I am watching a trailer/interview ad for The Tourist right now, with A.J. and Johnny Depp.  I'd love to see the movie for the scenery, but I don't think I could take Johnny Depp's Let's-Pretend-I'm-Not-From-Kentucky accent for very long.  Also, he just described A.J. as "a walking poem," and then immediately described Venice as "poetry at every turn."  Gag me with a chainsaw.

Oh, haaaaay .  Did you know I had a blog?  Because I kinda forgot. Watching  I liked this much more than I thought I would.  It's a good thing to watch (late) on Sunday nights to keep the existential doom at bay.  Can't decide if I like Jason Schwartzman in it, but Zach Galifanakis is funny in a subdued way, and Ted Danson , y'all!  Watching I'm not proud.  Pretty much what you'd expect: superlative bimbos. My favorite is Josie Stevens.  I have no idea who her husband, Steve Stevens, is, but Josie has "worked on Cinemax film projects ."   photo via E!Online   Reading Decorno posted three times yesterday.  Shhh!  Don't startle her or she might not post any more.  But doesn't she look nice in this outfit?   ADR photo by Juergen Teller/ W Magazine

photo: Wikipedia Firefox/Chrome nerdiness ahead: The Camelizer is my new favorite Firefox extension.*  You can use it to track price changes in items at Amazon.  Let's say, for example, that you are interested in purchasing one Rapunzel Fairytale Tower .  You need it in time for Christmas, but you still have a little time to wait for the best price.  With CamelCamelCamel** you can 1) see the price history of the item, and 2) sign up to receive an email notice when the price drops by a certain amount or percent (you set the parameters).   You could also use it for mundane things like diapers: take advantage of sales by pouncing when the price drops below a certain level.  Cool, huh?    An even cooler feature with CamelCamelCamel is that you can import your entire Amazon wish list to the site and track price changes for all of the items on it.  The people behind CamelCamelCamel also have extensions that work for Back Country , ...

The internet was all excited about some .gif with Natalie Portman's butt today.  [Least exciting butt EVER.]  Anyway, it's in the new Danny McBride movie!  This is going to be awesome.  And awesomely NSFW.

My friend Cayce just found this, and it is genius: an online sign-up sheet .  Click on that bad boy to see it in its full glory.  Never again have five versions of Taco Soup at your soup swap!  Never again chase down parents to paint faces at the fall festival!  And I think my favorite part is that you don't have to log-in or even register in order to use it.   Yo, it's a free service; nobody's getting paid to pimp it.

My grandmother passed away last Thursday.  She hadn't been well, and I'm glad she's not suffering any more.  Of course, I still miss her very much.  She was a great lady . The funeral was yesterday afternoon, and all weekend long people brought food over to my parents' house.  My Lord how we ate.  Ham, potato salad, fried chicken, heros, ham, rolls, cole slaw, pork roast, ham, gumbo, smoked chicken (OMG so good), meatballs, ham, chili, pasta, dirty rice (the best I've ever had) ... not to mention chocolate cake, brownies, molasses cookies, tea cakes, hummingbird cake, pumpkin spice cake...  If grief can be cured with food, or even just ham, we are well on our way.

[Posted in response to Sarah , with apologies in advice: this turned out to be a damn dissertation.] Usually I'm put off by bloggers who post recipes saying, "OMG this thing I made was the best thing EVER!"  So I won't claim that this chili was spectacular, but I can tell you that I tried a new method this year and was pretty encouraged by the results. I had always used ground beef for chili, because that's what my mom used, because that's really the easiest thing.  But lately I've converted to the Church of Chunked Beef, and I'm not looking back.  I also added a secret ingredient this year, which will be revealed below. Since you didn't ask: I am unfamiliar with the use of any kind of produce in the making of chili.  Fresh onions, tomatoes, etc. have no place here.  And I will not even discuss beans.  If you want to move to Russia and pledge allegiance to Stalin, that's your business. So yeah, the recipe: 2 lbs. pot roast (i.e. chuck ro...

My parents' Halloween costumes.  You should know that 1) my dad is an engineer, and 2) my mom has never worn nail polish, ever, in her entire life.

Happy birthday, Nonnie!

I'm home with a sore throat.  Yesterday I watched Gangs of New York .  I've wanted to see it since at least a year before it came out; the history of New York is one of my little mental hobbies.  But, yeah, GORY.  I only saw about half of it; the other half I watched from behind my hands.  Not ideal sick-day viewing.  [Still, holy cow, Daniel Day-Lewis is something else, isn't he?] via Today I was looking for an old black-and-white comedy, possibly with William Powell.  Ta-da: My Man Godfrey .  Now that's more like it. public domain

via Our buddy Mir tells us that all orders at Piperlime today earn a $25 gift certificate, in honor of Piperlime's anniversary.  Oh, and use the promo code TREAT4U for an extra 10% off.

Pinata Fail :-( , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . I tried to move the pumpkin pinata and the whole outer layer came off in a sheet.

See every outfit Mallory wore during the seven-year run of Family Ties .  1) The clothes are gorgeous, and 2) the comments are awesome.

Here's Chris Elliot as Skink the Bounty Hunter. (6:34) It's Tuesday.  Slow down with that "productivity" business already.

Houston Bulb and Plant Mart , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . The Garden Club of Houston is having their annual Bulb and Plant Mart . Got lots of good stuff -- a Republic of Texas orange tree for Aunt Winnie, a Pink Salt Marsh Mallow for mom, a Dobashi Beni satsuma for me, plus plenty of amaryllis and paperwhites for the holidays. Some bitch in front of me got the last key lime tree, though. If it weren't for the presence of so many tortoiseshell headbands I would've cut her.

In all honesty, I can be convinced of a lot of ... alternative theories.  I read my horoscope sometimes; I definitely believe in feng shui; I'd probably go to a tarot card reader (if you went with me); and I would even visit an herberia but I don't really speak Voodoo Spanish.  So anyway, my point is, I'm willing to at least try and believe. And there is this blogger I really like named Jules .  She had a guest post here about her favorite "crazy hippie" foods like Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar, which I like, and coconut vinegar, which is certainly intriguing.  And then she talked smack about microwave popcorn, which I can understand, because that stuff in the bags leaves a weird film in your mouth, and that ... probably is not something food should do, I think.   But in the comments of that post she revealed that she has an objection to using the microwave for anything because it "changes the structure of the food."  And here's where I say, ...

home row, yo , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . I tried this nail polish, and I like the color. Sometimes it looks brown, sometimes gray. You know, greige . It's by Essie and it's called Merino Cool. Men seem to hate it, which is a sure sign of its coolness. And no, I can't straighten my middle finger. It's crooked like that all the time.

I do hope you've had a beauty of a day on Talk Like a Pirate Day.  We celebrated, as ever, with a piping hot bowl of Pirate Pasta.   Pirate Pasta  has been a favorite of the wee mateys ever since my friend Angela told me about it.  It's one of the two things they actually request for dinner (the other is Chicken Milanese). It's called Pirate Pasta because it combines small meatballs (cannonballs!) with penne (spyglasses!) and marinara sauce* (uh ... marines!). * Okay, nitpickers, it's not technically marinara sauce if there is meat in it.  But you put it together as a marinara, then add meat to it ... whatever WALK THE PLANK. Pirate Pasta Meatballs: In a big bowl combine ground turkey and Italian sausage .  Add an egg and/or dry breadcrumbs to hold it all together.  Oh, and you'll need salt and pepper and what not.  So mix all that together with your hands and form small meatballs.  I make these in big batches and freeze the...

...(A)ll I have is an Eagles Palace plastic laundry bag with spare underwear, a toothbrush, and a bottle of Ambien. Well, if Dr. Thompson replaced psychotic paranoia with gingivitis.

Amazon is running a contest for Best (Magazine) Covers of the Year .  You get to vote in several categories; you're eligible to win a Kindle just for voting.  There was some good competition, but I think that one above is my favorite entry.  [Yes, it's three covers.  I didn't make the rules, y'all.]

double rainbows on hwy. 290 , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . My heart is cold and small, but even I was unable to resist the double rainbows on Hwy. 290 yesterday afternoon. Living in the flatlands means that you sometimes get to see the two endpoints of the rainbow. No leprechaun sightings, though.

#458  You can wear that sassy little romper to the PTA meeting, but you should know that you will be called "Romper" behind your back until your child graduates from college.

In September of 2008, Hurricane Ike destroyed 40,000 trees in Galveston. The Island Tree Conservancy, instead of having everyone grind down the tree stumps, had them turned into tree sculptures. I'm sure they look better in person, but here are some photos that came to me via email. These two are from flickr: "The Tin Man," by cybertoad "Tree Sculpture" by photine

Today is my 35th birthday. I'd like to take this opportunity to announce my candidacy for President of the United States.  Don't worry, there's a cabinet position for all of you who contribute big bucks to my campaign . So here are my qualifications:   1. My hair can get very big!   2.  I completed a semester of law school!   3.  I can practically see Mexico from my yard! As for my platform, I'm still taking suggestions. Leave yours in the comments.

Watching   Oh wow, this was great.  I think Papi & I liked it even more than the kids.  Giant booger monsters notwithstanding. Watching Okay, I saw Robb Reiner on the cast, and I thought this was a sequel to Spinal Tap .  Because I am an idiot.  Anyway, it's not bad.  It's a documentary about a heavy metal band that never quite hit it big.  So it was a bit of a downer. Watching Dear Starz Network --  I think you need a refresher course on the definition of "comedy."  For further reference, please see Caddyshack.    Yours, Mamacita Images via Wikipedia

So I read a blog post that made me want to watch this video, and it raised two important questions: 1. Does Craig Finn know that Graham Parker went back in time and stole his singing style? 2. Why don't more bassists wear white satin suits?

Watching image via Wikipedia Pretty good. Loved the scenery.  A little unfocused; also kinda hot.  Also: Lisa Eisner cameo!  Love her . Watching image via thewb.com Hilarious.  Can't believe I'm watching Adult Swim.

This just might be the best application of smartphone technology ever: Michael Ruhlman has turned his book, Ratio , into an app.  It's five whole bucks, but Lordy, how useful. iPhone app Android app

How awesome would this look in your house? My Aunt Winnie sent me this: The Texas Silver-Haired Legislature (an advocacy group for old folks) is having a charity auction.  Items up for bids include a heavy duty truck bed, golf for 4 at Willie's golf course, and a feral hog hunt.  For real, check it out .  Some of the good stuff is already gone, so you better get on that javelina hunt.  Photo via Two Racks Taxidermy , under Creative Commons license.

It tastes like butt .  Am I doing something wrong?

I made this the other day and thought it turned out well.  It's still, obviously, too hot to cook, but I made it at night, then put it in the fridge and reheated it for lunch. Creole Corn Chowder 6 slices bacon, diced 1 c diced onion 1 c diced green bell pepper 1 c diced red bell pepper 1 c diced ham 2 c corn 1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes, with juice 1/2 t oregano (dried) 1/2 t basil (dried) 1/2 t thyme (dried) 1 t crushed red pepper 1/2 t black pepper 1 c milk 2 T flour 2 T oil 1 c half-and-half Saute bacon in heavy pan until crisp.  Add onion and bell peppers; cook until limp.  Add ham, corn, tomatoes, tomato juice and seasonings.  Simmer 30 minutes.   Make a roux with the flour and oil in a saucepan.  Add roux to corn mixture and mix well.  Bring milk to boil in the microwave (or a saucepan).  Add milk to soup.  Simmer 15-20 minutes.  When ready to serve, add half-and-half and cook until hot.  Serves 6. ...

Watching I had a lot to say about it, then I realized I sounded like a pretentious twit.  Even more than usual. But can we discuss how gorgeous this interior is?   Terracotta walls, pink ombre pillow, bottle green couch ... swoon .

These two guys match up Kanye West's tweets to New Yorke r cartoons. Thought you might need some inspiration this morning.

I look like Paulie Walnuts today. , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . Time to get my hair did.

photo via Umbrella Man is four guys: a standing bassist/ lead singer; a drummer with nothing but a snare, a bass drum and a couple of high-hats; a dude on squeeze box; and a guy on pedal steel.  Could you even invent a better setup?  [I didn't realize until just now that the bassist sometimes plays for Billy Joe Shaver.  Holy cow.] We went to see them at the Continental Club the other night for Sophia's bday.  She's been going on about them for months, and we finally got to see them put on SUCH a great show.  Sadly, no amount of liquor improves my dancing, but I had a lot of fun anyway. The guys had a CD for sale , but it doesn't really give you any idea how great their show was.  They told us they're going to release a "Live at the Continental" CD sometime, so I'll keep you posted.

Good news, Uncle John -- your calculator watch is cool again! Timex has an 80's throwback watch site called Timex80 .  My favorites are the ones you can customize . via The Preppy Princess images via Timex