The Bikini Wax: An Internal Dialogue
God, this is horrifying. I wonder if she's as embarrassed as I am. OW! Ow MOTHERFUCKER! Okay, this hurts less than childbirth, but only because it doesn't last as long. What is she saying? I wish I spoke Vietnamese. I think I outweigh the entire staff combined. Dude, where is she going? They need a picture on this ceiling. They would probably put up a picture of Hannah Montana. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. Hey, I bet my nails are dry. I wonder if the liquor store next door sells ice. Next time I'm paying more for a place with numbing cream. Which is worse -- being her or being me? OW. Me. At times like this it's good to have some poetry memorized. 'Twas brillig and the ... the ... Dammit. HOW BIG IS MY VAGINA? She could have mowed the back 40 by now. God, how come nobody told me this shit was growing halfway down my leg? Did I water the clematis last night? Next time: vodka first. Next time: Vicodin first.
i will not double recipes??? did biddy miss something?
ReplyDeleteYou missed six gallons of Chinese Chicken Salad.
ReplyDeleteIts really good though...
It is indeed good. And since I am a beneficiary of Mamacita's overproduction, I encourage her to repeat the "error".
ReplyDeletehmmm...I could have sworn someone promised me some chinese chicken salad...
ReplyDeleteLetitia, I was forced to bring tribute consisting of Emergen-C and tiramisu before receiving my allotment of Chinese chicken salad. Not saying that this will happen to you, but who knows?
ReplyDeleteJohn,
ReplyDeleteLetitia's contribution was a late night food intervention that ensured you are hale and hearty after eating said Chinese Chicken Salad.
Certainly an action worthy of reward, but I think Becca might have gotten to it already...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete