The Bikini Wax: An Internal Dialogue
God, this is horrifying. I wonder if she's as embarrassed as I am. OW! Ow MOTHERFUCKER! Okay, this hurts less than childbirth, but only because it doesn't last as long. What is she saying? I wish I spoke Vietnamese. I think I outweigh the entire staff combined. Dude, where is she going? They need a picture on this ceiling. They would probably put up a picture of Hannah Montana. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. Hey, I bet my nails are dry. I wonder if the liquor store next door sells ice. Next time I'm paying more for a place with numbing cream. Which is worse -- being her or being me? OW. Me. At times like this it's good to have some poetry memorized. 'Twas brillig and the ... the ... Dammit. HOW BIG IS MY VAGINA? She could have mowed the back 40 by now. God, how come nobody told me this shit was growing halfway down my leg? Did I water the clematis last night? Next time: vodka first. Next time: Vicodin first.
I can actually most identify with her in terms of age, etc. and she is great with those one liners!
ReplyDeleteMy DVR went on the fritz and deleted the finale. Arrrgh.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite moments on the show was when Bethenny introduced the Countess to the driver and got a lecture on Countess etiquette. Too funny. -Julia
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ReplyDeleteI could not get enough of Bethenny, Jill and Ramona...but that strange Alex really freaked me out. I can't wait for season two. Do you remember Bethenny from Martha Stewart's Apprentice?
ReplyDeleteCheers.
I didn't watch the Martha Stewart version of The Apprentice, but I did know that Bethenny was the runner-up.
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