What Would Jane Austen Do?

A few more the Times forgot. In Out Vikings Pirates Guys and Dolls Grups Saltines Ritz Confit Foam Thighs Breasts Booze Drugs 1987 1984 Doms Subs Navy Black Movies Films Cheever Salinger Meatloaf Tenderloin Horn Taxidermy Eliza Doolittle Elle Woods Thanks for the pointer, a.

Asian Cajuns They're fun, they're twins, they have great style. Eat your heart out, Patty Duke. Breaking Curfew Naughty and nice, salty and sweet. Plus cute shoes. They're both Friends of Bunny .

Reading I'm pretty much perfect already, but I wanted to be able to give you some tips. Watching Caught an old episode on BBC America last night. Still an awesome show, even after 14 years . Listening to That song is like crack it's so addictive.

Somebody finally made a soundtrack for Ferris Bueller's Day Off . timbotron.muxtape.com HT: Blogadilla

Thanks, Lisagh !

I just realized one of the reasons I love Target: no background music . I hope you're taking notes, Wal-Mart.

Letitia said she needed some humor blogs to read. I am happy to oblige. Y'all add your favorites in the comments. Kissing Suzy Kolber (Forget the football; this is the funniest blog ever. And totally, deliciously, NSFW.) The Sugar Sheet -- a tumbleblog by one of the KSK writers; there's always something funny here. Vodka Has No Carbs -- featuring our beloved Decorno The "Overheard" Series, including: Overheard in NYC Celebrity Wit Bloggers with book deals (ain't nothin' wrong with that): Banterist Chuck Norris Facts Barack Obama Is Your New Bicycle (keep reloading the page to see more) Stuff White People Like Bloggers that should have book deals: White Whine -- stuff white people don't like The Merlin Mann suite of humor: 30 Seconds with Phone Guy 5ives Nerdy comic strips: GregNog xkcd Fun with macros: FAIL blog I Can Has Cheezburger No longer updated (and sorely missed), but it's still a good read: Things My Boyfriend Says

This 30-second spot is commonly called "the best commercial ever."

The 10 Most Disturbing Smurfs via Linkbunnies

Guh. I’m still in a funk. It’s too hot to do anything. Those of you in cooler climes might think of this as your January – when you’re tired of relentless snow and ice, and I’m thinking, “Hey, who told you to live in Colorado ?” Now you can enjoy a tall glass of cool and refreshing schadenfreude. It’s too hot to go outside, and I’m tired of being inside. It’s even too hot to go to the pool, which is too hot, indeed. I don’t want to cook. I’m sick of reading. I’m sick of the kids’ ongoing destruction of the living room. I don’t want to drop $50 going to the movies. I would say that I’m crotchety , except that reminds me of the word crochet , and it is too goddamn hot to think about crochet . So I’m sitting here at my computer – and don’t think it escaped my attention that those of you enjoying beautiful weather have fallen behind on your blog posts, DANIELLE – and trying to find something to do. Let’s talk about mixtapes. Michael Williams at ACL is a ...

Here is Feist on Sesame Street , in case you missed it. It reminds me of the ‘Street back in my day, when pop stars came on and sang songs that weren’t awful; you know, before it turned into the all-Elmo, all-the-time show. That prick takes over everything.

Vodka Gimlet This recipe for a vodka gimlet is attributed to Stuart Woods [who better than a pulp novelist to give a drink recipe?]: "Pour six ounces of vodka from a 750 ml bottle; replace with six ounces Rose's Sweetened Lime Juice (available from nearly any grocery). Add a small amount of water for ice crystals, shake twice and store in the freezer overnight. Pour into a martini glass and serve straight up. "The glass will immediately frost over. With this recipe, no cocktail shaker is required and the cocktail is not watered down by melting ice. You may use even the cheapest vodka, and no one will ever know." I personally would go for more lime syrup and less vodka, but to each his own. photo via Flickr user brittney

Aquarium Drunkard Great music, new and old. Mass Historia Historical facts and fiction.

It's Betty White! full monty here

About six weeks ago, I was in a groove. My hair looked good, I was going to the gym all the time, and I was eating really well. I was up in the morning and sleeping through the night. Now it's all gone to shit. My hair looks like ass, I haven't seen the gym in a couple of weeks, and I've plowed through most of the Ben and Jerry's product line in the last week or so. I woke up this morning at 3 (and that was after taking melatonin last night). God dammit . I guess I still have it better than Letitia -- her AIR CONDITIONER is out. People, it's 94 degrees and 90 percent humidity here. Say a little prayer for her a.c., would you? Oh, and while I'm on the TMI parade, there's this: (except they forgot the crying jags)

Watching MTV is in trouble if fat, old people like me are watching again. I don't have nearly as much disposable income as your average Stridex customer. Watching Seriously, MTV, if you're going to make shows that old people like to watch, you need to close-caption them. I can't understand a damn thing those two are saying. (And turn off that blasted background music.)

Awesome video; don't worry about the crappy audio. Thanks to Captain Caveman .

For your Friday Youtube Goodness, I present Weezer. They don't want the video embedded (which sucks), so you'll have to click here to see it . Thanks, Uncle John.

I'm keeping it simple this week with a bottle of lambic . According to Wikipedia there are several different types of lambic, but unless you're in Belgium, you only need to know about the fruit lambics. [Yes, Virginia, there is a fruity beer. And while it still won't win you any points for drinking a "real" drink, it will, in fact, taste good and be alcoholic. You win.] My personal favorite is Framboise (raspberry). Other varieties you might easily find include Kriek (sour cherry), Cassis (black currant), and Peche (peach). I would be remiss if I didn't give a shout-out to MissEm for introducing me to the framboise lambic. Thanks, Emily! Photo via Flickr user Freddie Avalos .

See these? They are Skinny Cow Strawberry Shortcake Ice Cream Sandwiches, and they are delicious . Buy them and eat them and come back to tell me how wonderful I am for telling you about them. [The good news is that there are only six in a box.]

Do you remember seeing the movie Elf and being surprised that Zooey Deschanel did her own singing because it was really just so lovely? You thought, "Oh wow, I guess she can really sing." Well, YEAH, she CAN. She has a new record out with some dude named D. M. Ward -- they perform as the duet "She and Him." [And I would like you all to take notice that I am excited about a record that not only came out this decade, but in fact came out this week year .] And yes, I nearly died from happiness when I listened to it. Here are some samples. "Change Is Hard" "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?" "You Really Got a Hold on Me" (I don't like the video -- and I don't think it's "official" -- but the song is too good to miss.) And for this happiness, I owe a tip of the hat to d.Sharp and The Ghost of Electricity . *The night I died from happiness, even though Emmet threw up all night and was super whiny. THAT'S how g...

Grosgrain Garage MAJOR girl crush. I'm dying for one of her needlepoint key fobs . Taquitos.net My dream job (in addition to Designated Fight Starter at the MLA conference).

Reading Watching Listening to "My new mixtape was designed for dive bar drinking."

Recommended: the EmilyStyle List of 10 Francophile activities. I am actually going to celebrate by playing dodgeball at the park with Emmet and some of his friends. But I hope there will be some frog food before the end of the day.

1. Popeyes (the chicken franchise) was named after the character Popeye Doyle in The French Connection . 2. The Guinness Book of World Records was started over an argument about the fastest game bird in Europe . Duh--an unladen swallow. 3. The original author of the Guinness Book of World Records was assassinated by the IRA . 4. People still listen to heavy metal . 5. People from Newcastle-upon-Tyne are called Geordies . 6. Wikitravel is awesome. 7. Angelina Jolie's paternal uncle (Jon Voight's brother) wrote "Wild Thing." 8. The Black Panthers wanted "all black men exempt from military service ." 9. Rastafarians believe that Ethiopian emperor Haile Selassie was the messiah . 10. James Thurber wrote children's books . Photo (apropos of nothing) via Flickr user Neato Coolville .

Bastille Day is coming up -- time to try some Lillet , the french ápertif favored by no less than the Duchess of Windsor, Sandra Bernhard and Hannibal Lecter. So I made this: white Lillet, chilled Fresca, chilled Pour Lillet into a glass of ice, top with a splash of Fresca and serve. [To clarify: I also tried Orangina and Aranciata, but I liked the Fresca best.] It doesn't have a name yet, seeing as how I just made it up on my lunch break. The song I have stuck in my head right now is "California Sex Lawyer," and I think that would be an excellent name. image via Art.com

I love this new color of KitchenAid Mixer. This one might still be my favorite, though.

HT: Zulkey click photo to enlarge

This Young House "One old house. Two young people. Plenty to do." Creative Organizing I don't always read the articles; I mostly just look at the pictures. It is essentially Hustler for mothers. I hope she doesn't check her trackbacks, though -- I get the idea that she would be totally offended by this blog.

Reading Watching I love this show. Listening to

So this famous chef lady doesn't like seasoning with black pepper. She doesn't even have any black pepper in her restaurant kitchen. What is up with that? Gothamist: Anne Burrell, Chef

When you serve your tasty waffle fries without salt, it makes baby Jesus cry.

Did you know that Le Bernadin chef Eric Ripert has a blog ? Wait, it gets better: the blog, which is sponsored by Cuisinart (among others), is running a series called "Toasted." It's all about preparing simple-yet-delicious food in the toaster oven . This is all very exciting.

Since we've got this NaBloPoMo /food thing going on, you get to hear what I ate for lunch. (photo via AusLunch ) We got here yesterday afternoon (the 4th) in time to get a picnic from Schlotzsky's [did you know their veggies pesto pizza is pretty good?] and some Pimm's from the liquor store. We went swimming at aunt Margaret's apartment and hoped to see the fireworks. Well, we could see them, if we stood on a deck chair and looked through the tree branches and a little to the left. Hey, the kids were happy enough about the swimming. And Nannie and I were happy enough about the Pimm's. (photo via Austin Chronicle ) Today we went to Iron Works BBQ for lunch. They like to keep it real -- no A.C. -- but the deck was nice, and we looked out on to Waller Creek and watched the turtles. The barbecue was pretty good; not as good as Goode , but good. After lunch we went to the Austin Children's Museum, then to Amy's Ice Cream . At Amy's I had "Cop St...

The triumphant return. 1. David Cassidy was Shirley Jones' real-life stepson . 2. Two ice creams to try: Wild Turkey-Walnut and Lemon . 3. Leonardo's last supper depicts Jesus and the apostles eating grilled eel with orange slices . 4. Robert Rauschenberg made an art car . 5. Teller (of Penn and Teller) started out doing magic at frat parties. He decided to work "silent" because it cut down on the heckling. 6. Looks like the Gap is turning things around (finally) . 7. The American Family Association website automatically replaces the word "gay" with "homosexual" in their news stories. Hilarity ensues . 8. John Adams thought Independence Day would be celebrated on July 2 . 9. Changes in the number of stars on the American flag go into effect on July 4 of the year following the admission of a new state . 10. The Prince of Wales had his Aston-Martin converted to run on bio-ethanol .

David Sedaris was the most popular (which must truly be a shock to everyone who knew him in high school) with 14 votes. Jincy Willett got 10 votes, and the next three entries had nine votes each: I Capture the Castle ; Animal Vegetable, Miracle ; and Shining City . Since he was far-and-away the most popular, let's get this party started with David Sedaris. I have set up a handy little aStore at Amazon . Yes, I do get a big fat 4% kickback on all your purchases through my store, so open your purse strings wide. I also put a few of my other very favorite books in the aStore, if you're interested in browsing. Photo by Peter Zeray (I think)

To drink while you watch the Williams sisters kick commie ass at Wimbledon this weekend. Pimm's Cup Over ice, pour: 1/3 glass Pimm's 1/3 glass lemonade 1/3 glass ginger ale Then you put a cucumber wedge in the glass and serve. Photo via Coconut and Lime , whose interesting take on the Pimm's Cup can be found here .

Just a reminder -- the polls close at 11:59 p.m. CDT tonight for the Book Club Smackdown.

Good Cop, Baby Cop on FunnyOrDie.com

GAH! See this bar? It is awful . I kept looking at it expecting to discover that I was really eating chocolate-covered styrofoam peanuts. "7 Whole Grains on a Mission" to make you GAG. Back to the kitchen with you, hippies.

I'm participating in NaBloPoMo because this month's theme is FOOD, and, you know, that's a something I can get behind. Also, my old (yet remarkably dewy-looking) friend Foodmomiac is in. But before I get to the grub, a note on tableware: Every year I wish I had these plates and these glasses for some swanky picnicking.