The Bikini Wax: An Internal Dialogue
God, this is horrifying. I wonder if she's as embarrassed as I am. OW! Ow MOTHERFUCKER! Okay, this hurts less than childbirth, but only because it doesn't last as long. What is she saying? I wish I spoke Vietnamese. I think I outweigh the entire staff combined. Dude, where is she going? They need a picture on this ceiling. They would probably put up a picture of Hannah Montana. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. Hey, I bet my nails are dry. I wonder if the liquor store next door sells ice. Next time I'm paying more for a place with numbing cream. Which is worse -- being her or being me? OW. Me. At times like this it's good to have some poetry memorized. 'Twas brillig and the ... the ... Dammit. HOW BIG IS MY VAGINA? She could have mowed the back 40 by now. God, how come nobody told me this shit was growing halfway down my leg? Did I water the clematis last night? Next time: vodka first. Next time: Vicodin first.
i had to think for a minute. i thought i was not seeing a link or something. greed indeed.
ReplyDeleteyep, i love the dark purple!
ReplyDeletebut, mine is pink. and oh, how i LOVE my pink mixer!
I have coveted that mixer for years! And now it's out there in eggplant? How will I resist?
ReplyDeleteBrown or burgundy? Please clarify? Eggplant?
ReplyDeleteFor your readers: official name of color=Boysenberry
ReplyDeleteFor you: Dear mamcita...I love you and all you do to spread the purples aorund the world! Thanks for understnading and supporting the cause! Your Long-reigning Purple Queen, Nannie