What Would Jane Austen Do?

Uncle John bought a Kindle a few months ago, and has rarely been without it since. He offered to write a review of it for this fine blog, and I now suspect that he made the offer because even Amazon wasn't willing to let him go on for 2,498 words about the damn thing. But, as with all John Cusey Joints, it's worth it. I would ask him to give a simple thumbs up/ thumbs down summary, but he's too busy thumb-fucking his Kindle. So let's take that as a "yea." --- Back in the mid ‘90s, my friend Ben got himself a Palm Pilot. Shortly afterwards, he proudly told me that he had been reading some book or other on said Palm Pilot. I thought that he was nuts. Well, okay, I would have thought that he was nuts regardless; but reading a book on a postage stamp didn’t sound like my idea of fun . From then up until a couple of months ago, that continued to be my opinion of e-books and e-book readers: what’s the point? I don’t want to read books on a desktop or laptop...

Put down the Granta you were reading -- SGM's Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Show recap is up.

Seeing Ben's comment on the Emmet post reminded me of a gift-giving boondoggle a few years ago. Papi and I were still in school and Ben and Sara had just entered their DINK years. I went to Fredericksburg (cute German village in central TX) shortly before Christmas, so I picked up box of miniature jars of artisanal mustard . Ben and Sara gave us ... a 5-piece place setting of silver. "Uh, hey, hope you enjoy that mustard, eh?" I should have bought them the full-size jars: I might have gotten a Mercedes.

Just a quick follow-up: Someone wrote to ask me if Becca is "completely and totally 'typical.'" HA! No; in fact, it's a REALLY HILARIOUS STORY, GOD. Becca has a seizure disorder, most likely epilepsy. It's controlled by medication ... sort of . But the medication she takes (because the first three failed) is notorious for making kids have "rage" issues not unlike "'roid rage." Big fun at our house. And the medication has some sort of cognitively inhibiting effect, too. I can tell that there is something going on in her noggin that isn't really coming out in her schoolwork. She comes out as low as the sixth percentile in her standardized test scores. I guess, as her mother, I am just incapable of believing that this is anywhere close to accurate. But it's just a stupid standardized test, so who cares? If the school district is happy, I'm happy. Also, we recently (last week) figured out that she may be having absence ...

Thank you all for your supportive comments. I really needed that.

Making Martha's Cardamom Streusel Coffee Cake. I used white cardamom pods from Penzey's. I almost stopped at that step in the recipe -- right there in the store -- because the cardamom did not smell AT ALL like I expected it to (it smelled vaguely like a household cleaner). But I proceeded; I had to toast the pods (18 of them) and grind them and put them through a sieve. Now that might immediately turn you off of the recipe -- I'm usually out at the mention of a sieve -- put that was really the only pain-in-the-ass step. The cake turned out well enough, which is to say that I liked it, but I don't know if everyone will. It was a subtle flavor -- no "Death By Cardamom!" here. I will probably make it again (not least because I have a whole jar of cardamom pods to get through). Visiting We took the kiddos on Saturday, and had a good time. Just in case my status as a nerd was ever in question. The RenFest may be the exception to the Hal Rubinstein maxim that ...

Is to see My Morning Jacket at Madison Square Garden on New Year's Eve . Just in case my fairy godmother is checking in.

Ten points if you can tell me what instrument Jim James is playing in this video. (video=6:50) Video via the Flub , who is cooler than shit.

So this is the present I have for our niece, Grace. The background: Grace's parents are both pediatricians, and she seems to share their interests. She loved the Body Worlds exhibits, and one time when I had to take her to the bathroom, she gave me a play-by-play of what was happening in her intestines. (It's cute in a 6-year-old.) Shopping at Costco one day, I found a copy of The Way We Work , a new book by David Macaulay (author of The Way Things Work , Castle , Pyramid , and others). As luck would have it, Letitia told me, Macaulay was coming to Houston for a presentation and book signing. I had Mr. Macaulay sign a book for Grace (and one for my kids, of course). When he signed his name, he also drew a chunk of intestine! He was incredibly gracious, and his presentation was great; if he's ever in your town, you should try to go see him. I don't know if Grace will appreciate the gift this year -- though I think she will -- but I hope that she will love it even...

I have to interrupt this parade of self-congratulation to make a suggestion to y'all. I was in (some random) department store last weekend, and I saw the display of electronic gadgets that they always set up in the men's department for buyers who have no clue what to give the men in their lives. I know it's hard -- most men are hardly forthcoming about these things -- but you have to resist the urge to purchase any of this future landfill. When you're stuck on a gift for a dude, you should check out Kevin Kelly's most excellent site, Cool Tools . Browse through the archives and you're likely to find some gadget that is actually useful for the dude in question.

Time for another installment of ... Greatest Hits: Gift Edition. This time, a gift I actually gave. Now, whether or not the recipient would call it a "greatest hit" isn't really the issue. 'Tis better to give than receive, so who cares what she thinks, right? [ Just kidding, Momma! ] A couple of years ago I drew my mom's name in the Secret Santa draw at Granny's house. The parameters -- NOT THAT ANYONE ELSE FOLLOWS THEM -- call for a gift of $25 or less. I gave my mom $25 worth of red tulip bulbs. She planted them en masse in her garden, and every time she looked at them in bloom I'm sure she thought about her favorite daughter.

That is, every other blogger is doing a "gift guide," so I am, too. But I thought I would do a "greatest hits" collection -- my favorite gifts that I have ever given or received. We kick things off with possibly the best present I have received since the Barbie townhouse of '84. And I believe this one cost the giver a whole dollar at a rummage sale. Letitia gave me this plaque the season that we coached a t-ball team together, and it still cracks me up. If you have a truly awesome gift that you gave or received, drop me a line; I'd love to do a post about it.

Papi and Emmet were at a Cub Scout campout this weekend, leaving me and Becca with some time alone. I was dreading the weekend, because Becca can be pretty difficult, and can wear one’s patience thin in a matter of hours. But we ended up having a great time. Friday night I took her to Texas Art Supply for the first time. She walked around pointing out everything she wanted to put on her Christmas list (that would be one of everything). Then we went to eat Chinese food – something we can never do with her brother in tow. She showed appropriate reverence for the spicy crispy asparagus (sososososo good). She had me read the menu to her: “Sesame Beef ... Orange Beef ... Happy Family…” and immediately decided on Happy Family. She just liked the sound of it. She ate some of the Happy Family, and some of the Crispy Szechuan Fish, too. Then we spent some time in Half Price books. She, as usual, wanted anything and everything Disney Princess; unfortunately for her, she is under the th...

Dear Santa, For Christmas I want to look like Kate Winslet. Thanks in advance, Mamacita P.S. to everyone -- a year of Vanity Fair is only $10 at Amazon right now. In case you're interested.

View-Master , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . I don't know why I am stupid excited about these. Did they ever really go away, or did I just grow out of them? You can buy them on Amazon, but I found them cheaper in the store.

This is way, way better than any commercial has a right to be. (video=1 min.)

"Welcome to 1990, Mamacita." Oh, shut up -- it's cool . HT: Walking Around

Obama Cupcakes for Breakfast , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . I know one little person who was happy about the election results.

Well, we all know who won the design portion of the competition.

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preparty wagon , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . This is how we roll on Cheshire Lane. We went trick-or-treating with 19 kids and 10 (or so) parents. Then we had a real party, with even more people. It was lots of fun. [No children were harmed by jello shots in the making of this evening.]

halloween haul , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . Oh, hello. Are you a person who gave out pretzels or granola bars to trick-or-treaters? Or perhaps toothbrushes, books, or apples? FUCK YOU IN THE NOSTRIL, lady; I hope you never eat a Reese's Cup ever again.