What Would Jane Austen Do?

Wow, Kirstie Alley is all but jumping up and down on Oprah's couch.

click to enlarge. ( Heh-heh .) From The Stranger , via Decorno

Danielle's post on the awesomeness of butter reminded me that I wanted to tell you about my two new favorite things in the kitchen: Jane's Krazy Mixed-Up Salt Letitia introduced me to this. I use it anywhere Tony's doesn't really go. Last week I made a roast with just Krazy Salt and pepper, and I thought it turned out pretty well. This is even better proof of its magical powers: I ate a salad last week with no dressing, just Krazy Salt. Don't worry, by "salad" I really mean tomatoes and avocados. Krazy Salt is a soulmate for avocados. Balsamic Glaze Picture it: Sicily, 1901... or maybe it was Lombardy, 2007 ... anyway: at a hotel restaurant I was served gnocchi alla Romana with balsamic syrup lightly drizzled around the edges of the dish, and it was all I could do not to lick the plate . But gnocchi alla Romana is really a variation on mac and cheese, and I hardly need another reason to eat that. However, the other day I used the balsamic syrup on...

Reading Watching So, so funny. Watching Sadly, not as funny.

These N.B. Go up a half-size. And these . I had to look at three different Targets for my size, and the only ones available on the website are size 5.5. But yay for me, because I gots 'em.

Is there a recipe for chicken spaghetti that isn't completely revolting? Do tell.

via Will Leitch

Grow, Dammit , originally uploaded by houston mamacita .

Every now and then I fall in love with Lifehacker all over again. To wit: Michael Ruhlman on Freeing Yourself From Recipes Ratios! Alton Brown/ Cook's Illustrated fans, rejoice. Track Your Purchases As They Happen at Xpenser Greatest invention since Book Burro . I pity the fool who doesn't use Book Burro. Download 773 Free MP3s from Amazon Yard Sale Treasure Map Plots Out Your Weekend Plundering Haven't used it yet, but I'm already hyperventilating over the possibilities.

Fried Pickles (bad lighting courtesy of neon signs) I went with Uncle John to BB's Cajun Cafe on Tuesday evening. First things first -- I was excited to see fried pickles on the menu. Did I say excited? I probably meant ecstatic. Anyway, I was a little surprised when the pickles came out in a cornmeal batter, but hey -- I'm ecumenical about frying materials. They were pretty good, I have to say, especially since fried pickles are a little hard to find in Houston. I asked for the 1/2 poboy & cup-of-soup combo: fried shrimp poboy with shrimp etouffee. I'm sorry to tell you that the etouffee was that typical, goopy stuff you get in restaurants. The shrimp poboy wasn't bad, though. Nice bread, but the shrimp might have been a bit overcooked. Unfortunately, Uncle John decided to take Robb Walsh's advice and order the grits and grillades. Uncle John should have known better, as we have discussed on many occasions how very wrong Mr. Walsh is -- he is wrong abo...

I almost forgot about this auspicious day. Okay, here's my Ode-to-Heloise tip: If you're taking a salad to a luncheon [I know this happens to you all the time, Punter], line the bowl with lettuce leaves. That makes the bowl look pretty, and when the luncheon is over you can just toss everything left in the bowl, including the lettuce leaves. Then the inside of your bowl won't be quite as disgusting as you transport it home. *deep bow* Thank you very much.

Reading During a THREE-AND-A-HALF HOUR wait at the doctor's office yesterday. Did you know you can get HPV in your mouth? Watching I have no idea what's going on at any given moment, but I like the show anyway. Listening to I have to say, I didn't love it. Dolly's voice is as beautiful as ever, but the music is very synthetic pop. When Dolly's voice -- or pop music -- is stripped of its context, the resulting album suffers. This post brought to you by Pitchfork and Kraft, the makers of Velveeta Cheese. If that's your sort of thing, though, I should point out that you can get three bonus tracks if you order the CD from Cracker Barrel .

Emmet, stop making faces. I said quit! Oh, to hell with it. Becca, could you please be still for a minute? Rebecca, be still! I give up.

This is the best song ever written about Jesus. Happy Easter, y'all.

It started out, innocently enough, when I asked Letitia, "So who is that colored fella on the cover of Rolling Stone ?" [that's a joke, y'all] or something like that. I've always been confused about the difference between T.I. and T. Pain, and I didn't understand which one of them was Li'l Wayne. So Letitia drew me this helpful chart. I wouldn't have thought to include The Game, but Letitia is evidently annoyed that we've (allegedly) had five conversations about him and I continue to claim I've never heard of him. As you can see, she went on to illuminate the difference between Nelly, Nellie Furtado and Kelis. [Kelis is the one who wore a green wedding dress!] But we have to give Liz Lemon some credit -- she is the one who stopped me from pronouncing it "Shah-millionaire." As for the remaining lacunae in our knowledge, Letitia eventually looked up T. Pain on Wikipedia, but if you can provide us with the name of Houston's answ...

Serving Up Fun Go check out Letitia's blog for ideas on cooking with children, complete with cute cartoons and a great bibliography of children's cooking books . [You can't take the librarian out of the girl.] Letitia is teaching a children's cooking class this Friday, and a one-week cooking camp this summer. Let's wish her luck. I know I couldn't be trusted around knives and preschoolers.

Emmet watched Judge Hatchett yesterday and tried to convince Papi that he should get a DNA test on his children. "Everybody should get a DNA test, Daddy!"

1. Buy stamps 2. See my enemies crushed before me and hear the lamentations of their women. 3. Tequila night at Berryhill with Shana and Veronica.

The very lovely Meg of Pigtown Design (a great blog, BTW) is one of the bloggers behind April Food Day . Inspired by Meg, I am writing to ask you personally if you would please make a donation to your local food bank today. As you may know, I work at a church, and I can tell you without a doubt that the number of people who approach us for help has increased in the last six months -- even though Houston's economy isn't in such terrible shape as other cities'. At work, we always direct people in need of help to the nearest food pantry , so I know that those organizations are seeing an increase in traffic right now. Meg writes: Do you know that... One in eight Americans are at risk for hunger? Four million Americans receive assistance from Feeding America each week? Children who are hungry have slower emotional, social and educational development? Millions of elderly Americans go to bed hungry every night? It is so critical that those of us who are not in this pos...