Wow, Kirstie Alley is all but jumping up and down on Oprah's couch.
The Bikini Wax: An Internal Dialogue
God, this is horrifying. I wonder if she's as embarrassed as I am. OW! Ow MOTHERFUCKER! Okay, this hurts less than childbirth, but only because it doesn't last as long. What is she saying? I wish I spoke Vietnamese. I think I outweigh the entire staff combined. Dude, where is she going? They need a picture on this ceiling. They would probably put up a picture of Hannah Montana. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. Hey, I bet my nails are dry. I wonder if the liquor store next door sells ice. Next time I'm paying more for a place with numbing cream. Which is worse -- being her or being me? OW. Me. At times like this it's good to have some poetry memorized. 'Twas brillig and the ... the ... Dammit. HOW BIG IS MY VAGINA? She could have mowed the back 40 by now. God, how come nobody told me this shit was growing halfway down my leg? Did I water the clematis last night? Next time: vodka first. Next time: Vicodin first.
another strange scientologist?
ReplyDeleteYeah, what is it with them?
ReplyDeleteC'mon, with all the guests on the show, I imagine that couch is lousy with Body Thetans. They gotta cleanse them somehow (If you guys were OT III, you would know this...).
ReplyDeleteHoly smokes. I thought it was just me. The crazy train is definitely idling at her station. And what is with her "receptionist" long nails and god-awful hair. Guess what? Going big with everything else makes you no less fat. K? Lastly, I do believe she wants to claw Valerie Bertinelli's eyes out with said fingernails.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the long comment Mamacita!
Yeah, the hair and the nails and the outfit -- WTF? Did she not know she was going to be on Oprah that day?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, Valerie B. might want to change her gate code.
That would not be allowed in my house. Those nails could poke your eye out...
ReplyDelete