I just ran across an article that reminded me about pumpkin spice lattes. Oh, pumpkin spice lattes, cool weather, opaque tights, the smell of leaves ... you will be mine. I'm counting the days.
The Bikini Wax: An Internal Dialogue
God, this is horrifying. I wonder if she's as embarrassed as I am. OW! Ow MOTHERFUCKER! Okay, this hurts less than childbirth, but only because it doesn't last as long. What is she saying? I wish I spoke Vietnamese. I think I outweigh the entire staff combined. Dude, where is she going? They need a picture on this ceiling. They would probably put up a picture of Hannah Montana. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. Hey, I bet my nails are dry. I wonder if the liquor store next door sells ice. Next time I'm paying more for a place with numbing cream. Which is worse -- being her or being me? OW. Me. At times like this it's good to have some poetry memorized. 'Twas brillig and the ... the ... Dammit. HOW BIG IS MY VAGINA? She could have mowed the back 40 by now. God, how come nobody told me this shit was growing halfway down my leg? Did I water the clematis last night? Next time: vodka first. Next time: Vicodin first.
Amen to that. Summer is the pits.
ReplyDeleteI'm a lurker coming out of hiding because I LOVE this post - I am so ready for fall and everything it brings. So glad someone else feels the same way!
ReplyDeleteI can smell it, taste it, oh how I love fall....
ReplyDeleteStephanielynn, thanks for delurking. That made my day.
ReplyDeleteOh the pumpkin spice, so good iced or hot.
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