What Would Jane Austen Do?

Any introduction would take away from it: From Leslie Harpold: "Possible Scenarios for Heaven" A record arm that you can pick up and put down in favorite parts of your life to play over, like dropping the needle in the middle of your favorite song back in 1980, when you knew exactly which part of the groove was where the guitar solo to "Train in Vain" ended. Moving it there meant you could dance around your room for just one more minute before shoving off, face first, into the snow on a school day. Pick the arm up in heaven, and it's the moment right before Billy Mullen kisses you, standing in the Putt Putt parking lot, just before the street lights come on. Leave it playing through the part where you race home, feet barely touching the ground for the nine blocks you run until you collapse on the landing, face flushed. Lift it off again before you hear your mom say "Young lady..." After savoring it a moment, which might be three hundred heaven years, d...

What moron posted the wrong video and called it "The Best of the Year?" Anyway, here's the real thing: Complete with stupid hippie stoner cameraman.

Why do I have a favorite music video of the year? What am I, 15? Oh, no, my pets. This is Jim James and M. Ward live at St. David's church in Austin during SXSW. [Jim James even cut his hair -- swoon .] This is straight out of a dream. [Jim James comes in around the 3:00 mark in this 7:14 video.] Now why is this my least favorite video of the year? BECAUSE IT CUTS OFF BEFORE THE END OF THE SONG. WTF? YOU POT-SMOKING HIPPIE CAMERAMAN. Here's a more complete version, but this one cuts off the beginning. (3:07)

A Wild and Introspective Guy Because I like Steve Martin, but this thread covers a lot more about comedy and writing. Upgrades As Jason Kottke said , "No one needs more stuff. But if you've got some disposable income burning a hole in your pocket..."

I forgot to add in the last post that all week long I'll be posting my favorite writing from around the web. Here is a piece I found that was written by Ben Stein for The New York Times in honor of Father's Day. Take it away, Ben: When You Weren’t Looking, They Were Working MOST business journalism is about investments and the people who make them, usually on a large scale. Or else it is about the big dogs who run the mighty earldoms of American business and the agencies that regulate them. This is fair enough. As Calvin Coolidge said, “The business of America is business.” We all want to read about money and how it’s made and lost. But for young people who might have no idea of what business involves, or even what work beyond flipping burgers or selling DVDs might mean, here is a little primer on what it is and why it means something as Father’s Day approaches. A few days ago, I came across a draft of a memoir my father was working on before he entered immortality in 1999. ...

I thought that I would use the week between Christmas and New Year's to post some of my favorite things from the past year. True, I'm running 2 days late now, but that's not actually so bad for me. Favorite Album: My Morning Jacket, Evil Urges No contest. Favorite Movie: Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Here's some better Christmas music. Happy holidays y'all. "Merry Christmas from the Family" by Robert Earl Keen. "Fairytale of New York" by the Pogues with Kristy MacColl . (Thx Flubby) "Christmas at K-Mart" by Root Boy Slim and the Sex Change Band . "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight)" by the Ramones . Tell me some of your favorites in the comments.

I curled up on the couch last night and watched the SF Ballet production of The Nutcracker on t.v. with Becca. It was SUCH a great production, set in 1915 San Francisco. I'm still swooning over the costumes. Thanks for the tip MrsEm . It's repeating on PBS throughout the holidays.

3 hours of sleep + lasagna at lunch = forehead hitting desk soon.

cookie party at biz' , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . By request of a few: Nutella Cookies 2.5 cups flour 0.5 teaspoon baking powder 0.5 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon salt 1 cup butter (softened) 1 cup packed dark brown sugar 1 cup granulated sugar approx. 26 oz Nutella (one large jar) 1 cup chopped hazelnuts 2 large eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract In one bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Set aside. In the bowl of a mixer, cream the butter and the two sugars until all is integrated and fluffy. Mix in the Nutella, followed by the chopped hazelnuts. Beat in the eggs one at a time, followed by the vanilla. Add the flour mixture to the mixing bowl in three increments, integrating each one before adding the next. Chill dough while oven preheats to 350 degrees F. Scoop the dough into balls and bake for about 10 minutes.

Jim Parsons mentioned this in a thread on Houstonist about the controversial Philip Johnson building that houses the UH Architecture School. Yeah, Johnson used an unbuilt design from an 18th century French architect as his model, and at the groundbreaking, a bunch of students in Philip Johnson glasses apparently showed up and heckled him. My favorite part of the story is that Johnson himself reportedly burst through a banner showing a rendering of the building, just like high school football players do before a game. Of course, he was already 175 years old, so that took a lot of moxie. Or a banner with a Philip Johnson-shaped perforation cut into it.

trees with lights , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . I love Christmas lights in Houston. The best is when they wrap the trunks in lights and then let the lights fall down from the branches like Spanish moss.

The Orange Show (a folk art museum and amusement park dedicated to, you know, oranges ) hosted the East End Christmas Party last night. You are going to die when you hear how cool it was. First of all, there were lowriders parked all over the street. Then, as soon as I walked in, somebody handed me a hot buttered rum. Oh, yes. They also had beer and iced tea. Good call on the refreshments, eh? Upstairs they had tamales and hot sauce from Big Daddy's Ass Burn -- there were three varieties; I really liked the Flaming Lips one. It was made with pineapple juice. I talked to the guy from Big Daddy's for a minute. He's friends with the Flaming Lips , he teaches Math at Memorial High School, and he looks like a member of Metallica. He let Becca rub his beard. There were crafts for the kiddos, and the entertainment -- oh, y'all . There were three Spanish-speaking acts. The highlight -- the one who got all the Mexican teenage girls a-jumpin' -- was Chingo Bling...

This is usually Decorno's gig, but she's out cavorting in Mexico. Somebody has to step up. Do you know how much I hate Pottery Barn? Actually, I can't even say it's a pure hate. There are things at PB that aren't so bad. I can't think of any off the top of my head, but I'm saying it's a possibility. Individual pieces, that is. But you know what offends me to the very core? A whole house full of inane bourgeois reactionary "classics." And now, your little trash/luxe-named princess can have a house full of her very own. Check it. Did Sylvia Plath never happen? Or Betty Freidan? Or ... hell, Cindy Sherman? Anyone?? But I think it's the wall-sized television shrines that get me the most. This has to be Sartre's idea of a living room. People used to dream about the future.

I hope you have an awkward teenage nephew, if only to remind you of how very glad you are not to be 15 any more. I have one -- a kid who already has long hair in his eyes and who only communicates in grunts and nods. The boy is on his way. This is what he needs for Christmas: Ramones CD subscription to MAD magazine shit-ton of fireworks

Mercy, that's a lot of Samuel L. for a Monday morning. via , via

My mom, a.k.a. Fat Grams, used to sing this to me and my sisters all the time when we were little. Now she sings it to her grandchildren. Yes, my mom is a small white lady. She's a little odd. (Video 3:25) Tip o' the hat to the sublime HOBAC .

Huzzah -- I've been invited to a cookie swap. Now I need some help figuring out which cookies to make. There's the Nutella cookies , which are molto delicioso . Or these lovely Trios that I brought to the swap last year. They taste fine, but they're mostly pretty. Or these Brown Butter-Brown Sugar Shorties -- even their creator, Smitten Kitchen , acknowledges aren't the most attractive things, but they are (supposedly) delicious. Or the Peanut-Butter-with-a-Hershey's-Kiss cookies. Everybody likes those, and they're easy. What are they called, anyway? [Please do not say, "PB Blossoms" because that is majorly gay.] Or bourbon balls . Because they will get you drunk. Care to weigh in?

I just looked up the Baker's Edge Brownie Pan on Amazon (high on my Christmas wish list). According to Amazon, "Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed": Betty: Color for the Hair Down There (Black) The Ancient Art of Strangulation , by Dr. Haha Lung BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE UFO-01 Detector (as seen on Rob and Big ) Guardian Angel Obviously, I wasted no time adding these items to my Christmas list.

Uncle John bought a Kindle a few months ago, and has rarely been without it since. He offered to write a review of it for this fine blog, and I now suspect that he made the offer because even Amazon wasn't willing to let him go on for 2,498 words about the damn thing. But, as with all John Cusey Joints, it's worth it. I would ask him to give a simple thumbs up/ thumbs down summary, but he's too busy thumb-fucking his Kindle. So let's take that as a "yea." --- Back in the mid ‘90s, my friend Ben got himself a Palm Pilot. Shortly afterwards, he proudly told me that he had been reading some book or other on said Palm Pilot. I thought that he was nuts. Well, okay, I would have thought that he was nuts regardless; but reading a book on a postage stamp didn’t sound like my idea of fun . From then up until a couple of months ago, that continued to be my opinion of e-books and e-book readers: what’s the point? I don’t want to read books on a desktop or laptop...

Put down the Granta you were reading -- SGM's Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Show recap is up.

Seeing Ben's comment on the Emmet post reminded me of a gift-giving boondoggle a few years ago. Papi and I were still in school and Ben and Sara had just entered their DINK years. I went to Fredericksburg (cute German village in central TX) shortly before Christmas, so I picked up box of miniature jars of artisanal mustard . Ben and Sara gave us ... a 5-piece place setting of silver. "Uh, hey, hope you enjoy that mustard, eh?" I should have bought them the full-size jars: I might have gotten a Mercedes.

Just a quick follow-up: Someone wrote to ask me if Becca is "completely and totally 'typical.'" HA! No; in fact, it's a REALLY HILARIOUS STORY, GOD. Becca has a seizure disorder, most likely epilepsy. It's controlled by medication ... sort of . But the medication she takes (because the first three failed) is notorious for making kids have "rage" issues not unlike "'roid rage." Big fun at our house. And the medication has some sort of cognitively inhibiting effect, too. I can tell that there is something going on in her noggin that isn't really coming out in her schoolwork. She comes out as low as the sixth percentile in her standardized test scores. I guess, as her mother, I am just incapable of believing that this is anywhere close to accurate. But it's just a stupid standardized test, so who cares? If the school district is happy, I'm happy. Also, we recently (last week) figured out that she may be having absence ...

Thank you all for your supportive comments. I really needed that.

Making Martha's Cardamom Streusel Coffee Cake. I used white cardamom pods from Penzey's. I almost stopped at that step in the recipe -- right there in the store -- because the cardamom did not smell AT ALL like I expected it to (it smelled vaguely like a household cleaner). But I proceeded; I had to toast the pods (18 of them) and grind them and put them through a sieve. Now that might immediately turn you off of the recipe -- I'm usually out at the mention of a sieve -- put that was really the only pain-in-the-ass step. The cake turned out well enough, which is to say that I liked it, but I don't know if everyone will. It was a subtle flavor -- no "Death By Cardamom!" here. I will probably make it again (not least because I have a whole jar of cardamom pods to get through). Visiting We took the kiddos on Saturday, and had a good time. Just in case my status as a nerd was ever in question. The RenFest may be the exception to the Hal Rubinstein maxim that ...

Is to see My Morning Jacket at Madison Square Garden on New Year's Eve . Just in case my fairy godmother is checking in.

Ten points if you can tell me what instrument Jim James is playing in this video. (video=6:50) Video via the Flub , who is cooler than shit.

So this is the present I have for our niece, Grace. The background: Grace's parents are both pediatricians, and she seems to share their interests. She loved the Body Worlds exhibits, and one time when I had to take her to the bathroom, she gave me a play-by-play of what was happening in her intestines. (It's cute in a 6-year-old.) Shopping at Costco one day, I found a copy of The Way We Work , a new book by David Macaulay (author of The Way Things Work , Castle , Pyramid , and others). As luck would have it, Letitia told me, Macaulay was coming to Houston for a presentation and book signing. I had Mr. Macaulay sign a book for Grace (and one for my kids, of course). When he signed his name, he also drew a chunk of intestine! He was incredibly gracious, and his presentation was great; if he's ever in your town, you should try to go see him. I don't know if Grace will appreciate the gift this year -- though I think she will -- but I hope that she will love it even...

I have to interrupt this parade of self-congratulation to make a suggestion to y'all. I was in (some random) department store last weekend, and I saw the display of electronic gadgets that they always set up in the men's department for buyers who have no clue what to give the men in their lives. I know it's hard -- most men are hardly forthcoming about these things -- but you have to resist the urge to purchase any of this future landfill. When you're stuck on a gift for a dude, you should check out Kevin Kelly's most excellent site, Cool Tools . Browse through the archives and you're likely to find some gadget that is actually useful for the dude in question.

Time for another installment of ... Greatest Hits: Gift Edition. This time, a gift I actually gave. Now, whether or not the recipient would call it a "greatest hit" isn't really the issue. 'Tis better to give than receive, so who cares what she thinks, right? [ Just kidding, Momma! ] A couple of years ago I drew my mom's name in the Secret Santa draw at Granny's house. The parameters -- NOT THAT ANYONE ELSE FOLLOWS THEM -- call for a gift of $25 or less. I gave my mom $25 worth of red tulip bulbs. She planted them en masse in her garden, and every time she looked at them in bloom I'm sure she thought about her favorite daughter.

That is, every other blogger is doing a "gift guide," so I am, too. But I thought I would do a "greatest hits" collection -- my favorite gifts that I have ever given or received. We kick things off with possibly the best present I have received since the Barbie townhouse of '84. And I believe this one cost the giver a whole dollar at a rummage sale. Letitia gave me this plaque the season that we coached a t-ball team together, and it still cracks me up. If you have a truly awesome gift that you gave or received, drop me a line; I'd love to do a post about it.

Papi and Emmet were at a Cub Scout campout this weekend, leaving me and Becca with some time alone. I was dreading the weekend, because Becca can be pretty difficult, and can wear one’s patience thin in a matter of hours. But we ended up having a great time. Friday night I took her to Texas Art Supply for the first time. She walked around pointing out everything she wanted to put on her Christmas list (that would be one of everything). Then we went to eat Chinese food – something we can never do with her brother in tow. She showed appropriate reverence for the spicy crispy asparagus (sososososo good). She had me read the menu to her: “Sesame Beef ... Orange Beef ... Happy Family…” and immediately decided on Happy Family. She just liked the sound of it. She ate some of the Happy Family, and some of the Crispy Szechuan Fish, too. Then we spent some time in Half Price books. She, as usual, wanted anything and everything Disney Princess; unfortunately for her, she is under the th...

Dear Santa, For Christmas I want to look like Kate Winslet. Thanks in advance, Mamacita P.S. to everyone -- a year of Vanity Fair is only $10 at Amazon right now. In case you're interested.

View-Master , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . I don't know why I am stupid excited about these. Did they ever really go away, or did I just grow out of them? You can buy them on Amazon, but I found them cheaper in the store.

This is way, way better than any commercial has a right to be. (video=1 min.)

"Welcome to 1990, Mamacita." Oh, shut up -- it's cool . HT: Walking Around

Obama Cupcakes for Breakfast , originally uploaded by houston mamacita . I know one little person who was happy about the election results.

Well, we all know who won the design portion of the competition.

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