The Bikini Wax: An Internal Dialogue
God, this is horrifying. I wonder if she's as embarrassed as I am. OW! Ow MOTHERFUCKER! Okay, this hurts less than childbirth, but only because it doesn't last as long. What is she saying? I wish I spoke Vietnamese. I think I outweigh the entire staff combined. Dude, where is she going? They need a picture on this ceiling. They would probably put up a picture of Hannah Montana. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. Hey, I bet my nails are dry. I wonder if the liquor store next door sells ice. Next time I'm paying more for a place with numbing cream. Which is worse -- being her or being me? OW. Me. At times like this it's good to have some poetry memorized. 'Twas brillig and the ... the ... Dammit. HOW BIG IS MY VAGINA? She could have mowed the back 40 by now. God, how come nobody told me this shit was growing halfway down my leg? Did I water the clematis last night? Next time: vodka first. Next time: Vicodin first.
Oh! I love Disney's Robin Hood!
ReplyDeleteNice to find another Jane Austen fan too :)
It was a personal favorite of mine. We rented (and then bought it) for E&B, and Robin Hood became Emmet's favorite hero.
ReplyDeleteHowever, when he insisted on going as Robin Hood for Halloween (and more importantly, insisted on a yellow Robin Hood cap, as seen in the movie, instead of a green one), it got out of hand a bit :) Even Disney was selling a licensed Robin Hood outfit with a non-canon green hat.