Not Hired

Did you stumble into work this morning hungover? Happens to the best of us. Remind your boss of how much worse things could be. Here are some excerpts from Not Hired, a blog about Craigslist job ads:

The answer is, "sometimes, yes":

From a proud AOL user:


So much better than Chuck E. Cheese:


Something tells me this girl might actually get work in San Francisco:


And I hope this guy really exists.

Thanks, Mrs. Micah

Comments

  1. AnonymousMay 27, 2008 at 1:17 PM

    Lol, glad you liked them! :) I spent wayyyy too much time until I got back to the end of the site. And then I was sad. And then I remembered lolcats.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 28, 2008 at 3:07 AM

    I just stumbled onto your blog thru Glossy Scented Magazines. As the stbx wife of an English professor, I was intrigued by the idea of your wanting to be a fight starter at MLA. Do you teach at UHDT?

    ReplyDelete
  3. mamacitaMay 28, 2008 at 2:09 PM

    Hi Karen -- no, I'm not an English teacher. It's just that I have strong opinions about grammar, and I'm always looking for a fight.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sarah's Fab DayMay 28, 2008 at 2:52 PM

    Seriously Craig's List is the perfect way to kill, oh about...3 hours.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousMay 29, 2008 at 3:03 AM

    Dear Mamacita--I am sincerely sorry you missed the arguments at the Univ. where the hus teaches.... over whether it was more correct to say: "the student... it" or "the student... he,she,it.."----the faculty was discussing how these pronouns should be used in the catalogue....lasted three weeks with two 6 hours meetings a week...
    Have you ever been to MLA? Karen

    ReplyDelete
  6. I ♥ YouMay 30, 2008 at 12:24 PM

    this is comedy gold! i am still laughing!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reading/ Watching/ Listening

 Reading: The Rules of Civility by Amor Towles. I didn't like it nearly as much as A Gentleman in Moscow . In fact, I liked it only barely enough to keep reading. Watching: Poker Face , on Peacock. Papi and I have enjoyed watching this, one episode at a time, and not every day. It's a little formulaic, but the sets and the guest stars are fun. I like that it changes scenery every episode. Listening to: The Beatles Channel, Sirius XM. Ever since watching Get Back , the Beatles documentary, I've enjoyed listening to them with new ears.
Read more

The Bikini Wax: An Internal Dialogue

God, this is horrifying. I wonder if she's as embarrassed as I am. OW! Ow MOTHERFUCKER! Okay, this hurts less than childbirth, but only because it doesn't last as long. What is she saying? I wish I spoke Vietnamese. I think I outweigh the entire staff combined. Dude, where is she going? They need a picture on this ceiling. They would probably put up a picture of Hannah Montana. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. I will not think about Miley Cyrus. Hey, I bet my nails are dry. I wonder if the liquor store next door sells ice. Next time I'm paying more for a place with numbing cream. Which is worse -- being her or being me? OW. Me. At times like this it's good to have some poetry memorized. 'Twas brillig and the ... the ... Dammit. HOW BIG IS MY VAGINA? She could have mowed the back 40 by now. God, how come nobody told me this shit was growing halfway down my leg? Did I water the clematis last night? Next time: vodka first. Next time: Vicodin first.
Read more

Be Awesome for Halloween

Image
You are a total hoser if you don’t dress up for Halloween. Granted, I haven’t dressed up in a few years, but I am about to change that this year. I have an idea … but it’s a surprise! Actually, I have lots of Halloween ideas. I’ve put together a few sample ideas for some of my favorite bloggers. If you find yourself in need of inspiration, send me a link to your blog, or just describe what you’re doing on Halloween night, and I’ll give you a hand. Emily and Rob : Alice and Ralph Kramden ! Soletrain : ODB . Wouldn’t you pay money to see Uncle John wearing a grill? Anyway, I’m sure he already has the outfit. He just needs to accessorize with a 40. Bunny Tomerlin : Goth princess . Because I bet she’s never even worn PVC. (Polyvore set via Haley ) Grosgrain Garage : preppy Jesus – Bonnanos, tunic with gingham trim and a ribbon belt, pearls worn as a thorny crown Megan: Now that she's succumbed to making wreaths , Mega...
Read more